Thursday, October 27, 2016

The Height of Sacrilege

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Ulm Minster is a Lutheran Church in the German city of Ulm.  It is currently famous for having the tallest church tower in the world, 530 feet, but that distinction is being threatened on two fronts.  First,a Catholic church in Barcelona, Spain, which has been under construction for years, will be taller than Ulm Minster when it is completed in 2026.  And second, the massive German church is being threatened by destruction from an unlikely source.

The area around Ulm Minster is used as a public gathering place where special events are held throughout the year.  Being Germany, much of the public reveling involves the consumption of beer, an exuberant activity that always results in the need to urinate and sometimes causes vomiting as well.  Traditionally, the men of Ulm would solve the urination issue by staggering over to the church and peeing on the wall and along its foundation.  Some would also vomit on the walls of the old church.

But as the almost constant showering of urine began eating away at the foundation of the church, city officials grew concerned.  They raised fines to around a hundred dollars in order to deter the drunks from relieving themselves on the church, and the city also started pressuring vendors to bring in porta-potties for their events.  (Of course, not everyone enjoys the stench of a porta-potty.)

Expensive renovation on the sandstone base of the church has also recently been completed.

But with all of those efforts at urination reform, the problem still persists - and nature always triumphs in the end.

Water will run its course.

Sooner or later the walls come tumbling down.

The same principal could be applied to border walls and giant, gaudy hotels.

On your mark, get set . . .

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