There was a Presidential Primary in Arizona this week, but it was kind of a lackluster event. In fact, it is hard for anything out in the Scorpion State to outshine the antics of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, and this week was no different. With that much national press descending upon the state, Old Joe was out to make damned sure that he got in front of as many cameras as possible.
One of the big stories in Arizona, aside from the primary, was a bestiality ring that Joe's boys busted. Well, it wasn't a ring exactly, just two men and a woman advertising for the services of a randy dog over Craig's List. The sheriff and his minions set up a sting operation and were able to nab the desperadoes before they sullied the honor of an undercover, four-footed member of the sheriff's canine unit.
Joe knew, and rightly so, that a story like that would have mass appeal to America's unwashed masses - and of course he was right. People were shocked!
I myself was shocked, and after living in Arizona a couple of years I don't shock easily. My shock came from learning that the Scorpion State still has laws against bestiality on the books. It is hard to imagine because several of the state's office holders could certainly pass as the issue of bestial relations.
People eat those crazy stories up, and Joe knows it. But the more mundane stuff, however, he sometimes lets slide. Take, for instance, the more than 400 sex crimes in an around El Mirage, Arizona, between 2005 and 2007 that his office failed to properly investigate. Some of those crimes were committed against children. Sex crimes against children, or anyone else for that matter, just does not resonate with sand goobers the way that a good dog-sex story does.
And Joe Arpaio, the ancient sheriff, is a purebred Publicity Hound who appreciates the intellectual depth of the Arizona voting public. No wonder those Republican presidential candidates all rushed to Phoenix to kiss his ring!