Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Pa Rock Unplugged

by Pa Rock
Angry Typist

Some days I think it might be nice to be Donald Trump - and have nothing more pressing to worry about than how to cheat at golf and how to stuff more Russians into my condos, but then I temper that with  thoughts of how tiring - and boring - it would be to constantly carry around that much weight and ignorance.  Trump seems to have no friends or people that he actually cares about, while I, on the other hand, at least have a few.

I think my outlook on life is somewhat soured - especially today.  I began the day at 4:00 a.m. with a call to CenturyLink, my internet service provider.    I told the nice lady who finally answered (after I had pushed a half-dozen number codes) that my internet had gone down at 5:00 p.m. the previous evening and was still out of commission.  She had me perform a couple of tests on my modem - which I had already done, but I did them again just to please her - and then she finally announced that my modem was an antique and would need to be replaced.  She told me cheerfully that CenturyLink could put one in the mail to me in about three days.  But first I would have to call another number to make the request, and that number was not manned until 8:00 a.m.

So much for around-the-clock service!

I was on the road at 8:00 a.m. but phoned a few minutes later after I parked my car in a neighboring community.  The recording told me that I had called "after-hours" but agreed to put me on the recorded punch-a-number merry-go-round.  I hung up and called back after 9:00 a.m.  Again a recording told me that I had called "after-hours."  This time I opted to get on the CenturyLink tilt-a-whirl and play their numbers game.  Finally I started answering every request for a number with "zero," and a human reluctantly came on the line.  The poor fellow had a thick accent and was hard to understand.  Unfortunately for him, I was easy to understand.

He was quite put out that I could not give him the model number of my modem because I was twenty miles away from home.  I carefully explained that I had given all of that information to the lady who had to suffer my 4:00 a.m. call - and suggested that he might try looking it up.  Eventually he came back on the line and said that my modem was very old.  I told him that I was aware of that, and explained that I would like to order a new one, but that the number I had been given to call was claiming it was "after-hours."

Not to worry, my new friend assured me, he could help place the order.  It would be just one hundred dollars, or I could rent a new modem for ten dollars a month.  I exploded to such a degree that windows rattled across much of southern Missouri and northern Arkansas.  "You mean I own that piece of crap!" (or words to that effect), I blasted.  "Yes sir, you do," he chirped happily, several time zones away.  Then I asked what it would cost for a technician to bring one and hook it up, and the fellow said that would be an extra eighty-five dollars.

You suck, CenturyLink!

Finally, after retrieving my phone from across the street where I had thrown it, I asked for the corporate phone number for CenturyLink.   It was at that point that the chirpiness left the poor fellow's voice.  He said that he would have to put me on hold while he talked to a supervisor.  When he finally came back he gave me a telephone number - and then asked if he could place the order for the modem.  I explained, as calmly as possible, that I was officially starting the process of trying to find another internet service provider, and no, I did not want to order a new modem.

This afternoon I went to the West Plains Public Library in hopes of typing the day's blog.  I say "hopes," because I am just a tad on the cynical side and know that the odds of things being easy are always stacked against me.

I don't memorize passwords and rely on my computer to automatically cough up the right one when needed.  I didn't know my Google password and got kicked around cyberspace a couple of times until Google finally asked me if I could remember any of my old passwords - and I did remember one - a very simple one.  Then it said it would send a code to the Google ap on my phone.  I couldn't find that, so Google finally decided to send a text message with the new code to my phone.  I got that, entered the code, and then got a message from Google saying that since I was using a different computer, they would not allow me access to Google and hence to Blogspot.  

Thank you and have a nice day!

You suck, Google!

When I finally got back home, not long ago, I sat down at the computer to put the blog posting on Word and to save it to publish later.  While I was staring at the screen, I noticed the Apple News icon, which I had never seen before, and, out of boredom, I clicked on it - and the site came up!  Then I tried Gmail and it came up, too!  After deleting a hundred and forty emails, I went in to have a look at my old modem.  All of the lights were green and it appeared to be working just fine.  I rushed back into the living room and banged out this page-of-rage before the modem again goes on the fritz.

Now I'm wondering if someone at CenturyLink just decided to flip a switch and turn my service back on - rather that lose a long-time sucker customer.

Anyway, change my status to "plugged-in."  Pa Rock is back!

And CenturyLink, you still suck!

No comments: