Saturday, October 26, 2019

Felicity Huffman Spared Three Days of Jailhouse Hell

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Television star Felicity Huffman stepped into a minimum security prison (Federal Correctional Institution) near San Francisco two weeks ago as a result of paying $15,000 to get someone else to take her daughter's SATs for her - and thus give the poor child an opportunity to get into the "right" university for someone of her social standing.  Huffman was part of a nationwide group of parents and college officials who were bent on perverting the rigorous admissions standards that many of America's top colleges and universities have in place.

Last year Huffman pled guilty to her felonious behavior and was sentenced to two full weeks of sitting on a cot and filing her nails while her team of publicists worked feverishly to turn the lemon of incarceration into the lemonade of free publicity.  She was the very picture of glamorous prison vixen with just a tinge of subdued humiliation.  Her tragic stumble was a movie-of-the-week just waiting to happen!

In addition to having plenty of time for nail care while she was shut away in the slammer, the former Desperate Housewives star also had visits from anxious family members.  The daughter who had her SATs embellished through Mom's personal checkbook came to visit, and so did the drama queen's husband, actor William H.Macy (no relation - my people all go to state universities).

As the days wore on, however, the novelty of life behind bars apparently began to wear thin.  Thankfully, there were no untoward prison tragedies associated with this case, and true justice ultimately prevailed when Inmate Huffman was discharged three days early.

Thank God for small mercies!

Huffman still must pay a $30,000 fine and serve 250 hours of community service, but surely a woman of her importance can pay somebody to do that mundane work for her.   Just sayin' . . .

1 comment:

Xobekim said...

This is what eventually trickles down from trickle down economic policy. The result more resembles the skid marks left in the underwear of a person with poor habits of personal hygiene than prosperous opportunity for the lower echelons on the scale of socioeconomic status.

The rich believe money equals privilege. Their self serving greed belies the propaganda they espouse about rugged individualism and the mythical omnipresent opportunity for all. The system is rigged and they paid good money to bad politicians of both parties to make sure the fix is in.

Even Lady Justice peeks under her blindfold when meting out punishment in order to favor the wealthy.