Saturday, September 24, 2016

They'll Have to Parade without Me

by Pa Rock
Road Warrior

My sister, Gail, and I had been planning a big autumn adventure.  We were going to hop on a tour bus with a bunch of old people in November and travel to New York City where we would watch the famous Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade live from the sidewalks of the Big Apple.  Our money was paid and our bags were packed.

But those plans came crashing down yesterday afternoon when the tour operator called to inform us that the trip had been cancelled.  Some of our fellow travelers had backed out, leaving too few for the tour company to make a profit.  Those suddenly deciding not to go had used terrorism as their excuse - fear brought on by the pressure cooker bomber who set off a few non-fatal blasts around the city last week.  Never mind that the guy has already been arrested and now poses no threat to anyone outside of Riker's Island.

Didn't those old farts realize that New York City - or any large urban area for that matter - is a dangerous place when they signed up for the trip?  Now when a terrorist weasel suddenly pops up, it dawns on them that they will be traveling beyond their comfort zone of northwest Arkansas and southwest Missouri.  In the eloquent words of our Most Beloved Dear Leader Wannabe, Donald Jong John Trump, they are "a bunch of pussies and losers!"

Now those cowards will be free to partake of safer activities over the long Thanksgiving Day weekend, like storming the Bentonville Walmart before dawn on Black Friday and risk being trampled to death for a flat-screen television or cheap clothing made by slaves in Bangladesh.  Personally, I'd rather take my chances with the New York City terrorists!

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