Friday, July 1, 2016

Creeps and Veeps

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Here it is the first day of July, the month in which both major parties will hold their national conventions, and neither presumptive candidate has yet to announce the name of their prospective running mate - one of whom will go on to become the Vice President of the United States of America.  There are things that need to get done - signs printed, commercials readied, speeches written, scandals rehashed, and even campaign planes to be emblazoned with the names of the candidates.  Crunch time is here and yet the candidates dawdle shamelessly!

Naming a Republican running mate shouldn't be too much of a challenge for a consummate businessman like Donald Trump.  Of course, he has probably been hampered in filling the post of running mate by the fact that few luminaries in his party actually want the job.  Trump, who is almost certain to go down in massive defeat this November, could easily ruin the political future of any poor schmuck unfortunate enough to share his ticket.  Losing with Trump could be such a decisive political death blow that even an anticipated afterlife in Fox News might not come to pass.

The media seems to be focusing on two individuals who would apparently  be willing to run with The Donald:  Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, each with enough past scandals under his belt to keep the tabloids busy every day of the election season.  (One national news site is referring to the pair, Christie and Gingrich, as "Veep Creeps.")

Sarah Palin, an experienced Veep candidate, would probably also consider letting her name go on the ballot - as long as there was no chance of Trump actually getting elected and causing her the ugly and inconvenient necessity of sitting at a desk and feigning some semblance of actually working.  Sarah's time is more valuable than that.

Trump might also cast caution to the wind and go with a lightening rod like Kim Davis, the homophobic Kentucky county clerk who managed to keep her name in the press much of last summer.  But Donald Trump puts a great deal of importance on personal appearance, at least with women, and although Kim Davis has been married as many times as he has, one hot mama she ain't.

The Trumptanic is already taking on water, and it's going to sink - regardless of whichever hapless bastard is standing in the Captain's shadow patiently waiting to take the wheel.

All of which means Hillary Clinton is on the verge of telling America the name of the person who will be the country's next Vice President.  Up until a couple of days ago it looked as though that honor might befall Senator Tim Kaine of Virginia, but now, following revelations that he accepted gifts of a Caribbean vacation and clothing while he was lieutenant governor and governor of Virginia, Mrs. Clinton, who has more than enough scandals of her own to manage, is likely to look elsewhere.

Unlike Donald Trump, Hillary has no shortage of qualified individuals who would like to be her running mate.  Julian Castro and Xavier Becerra are still being talked about, and either would add strength to the Democratic ticket, particularly among Hispanics.  And with Donald Trump being such a blatant misogynist, this would also be a good time for her to double down on the gender issue and name a female running mate.  Claire McCaskill would kill for the nod - anything to get out of running for re-election in Missouri in the non-presidential year of 2018, and then there is always the people's favorite:  Elizabeth Warren.

Could there be any better political theatre than a nationally televised debate between Elizabeth Warren and Chris Christie?  The ensuing popcorn shortage would be of biblical proportions!

Come on candidates, give us the names.  Let the circus begin!

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