Thursday, June 2, 2016

What Trump Is Looking for in a Veep

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Fruit ripens in various locations at various times of the year, making picking seasons almost constant - just about any day of the year something is being picked somewhere.  Traditionally, the veep picking season begins in June of leap years and can possibly run into early July.  Veeps are almost always vetted and selected by the presumptive nominees before the convention so as to avoid any unseemly surprises on the convention floor in front of the rolling cameras of the national media.

The GOP convention is scheduled to be held in Cleveland from July 18th through the 21st, and the Democrats will meet the following week in Philadelphia on July 25th through 28th.  That means the time is ripe for both parties to get serious about floating a few names and making selections.

Poor Hillary, however, is still trying to figure out how to gracefully nudge Bernie aside without inflaming his ardent supporters, so she may demure a trifle longer.   But Trump, who already has his nomination seized, and whose convention is first, needs to get moving.

The Trump deliberations and selection of a running mate are likely to involve some high political theatre.  First, his campaign has been marked by disorganization and a candidate who seems to be incapable of keeping his thoughts on anything to himself.   There are many who believe he has no path to victory in November, a reality that probably places limitations on the pool of potential veeps who would be willing to run on the ticket with him.  Add to that the fact that Trump has already pissed off several big GOP names - like Susana Martinez, Carly Fiorina, Jeb Bush, John McCain, and Mitt Romney - and the field of candidates who might actually be able to help the bombastic reality television star shrinks markedly.

This past week Paul Manafort, Trump's "campaign chairman" and "chief strategist" (as opposed to Corey Lewandowski, his "campaign manager" and chief muscle against pushy women) had a few things to say about the Veep selection process that the campaign will employ.  Manafort said that Trump sees himself more as a "Chairman of the Board" when it comes to governing and will be looking for someone who can get in and actually perform the nitty-gritty of running the country.  Trump will be a bit above it all.

Manafort also said that he suspects his boss will choose a white male for the position because choosing a member of a minority group or a woman would come across as pandering.  (Remember when some in the press referred to Bill Clinton as a "pander bear?"  It's all starting to come around again!)

So if Manafort's instincts are any indication, Ben Carson is out and so is Sarah Palin.  Carly Fiorina has been out all along because The Donald, a great admirer of women (in thongs), didn't like her looks.  Susana Martinez likely has too much class to accept even if she was asked, resulting in nothing being left but a few dozen old white men anyway.

Chris Christie might be a possibility.  As an "extra" duty, he could be the "Czar of Vengeance" and dish out swift retribution whenever anyone dared to thwart the actions of the administration.  Sam Brownback might also fit the bill.  Besides being God's gift to government administration, Sam could also fill in as the administration's "Economic Czar."  Just a few tweaks here and there, and Brownback could introduce the whole nation to the Kansas economic miracle.  And crazy Dick Cheney might also be up for another stint of playing President.  He could move his office to the Pentagon and have his hands within reach of all kinds of buttons.  Cheney might not be as effective this time around, however, because he now has a functioning heart.

When it comes to old white men, the GOP options are almost limitless.  Better pick one soon, Donald.  It smells like they're starting to get ripe!

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