Yesterday I came across a couple of Trump slogans on the internet that set me to thinking about other clever sayings that might ignite the Trump campaign - or burn it down. The two that caught my eye on-line were "In Your Guts You Know He's Nuts" and "Lord of the Lies." And while The Donald probably wouldn't choose either of those to fuel his juggernaut to the White House, his last name lends itself to so many rhyming possibilities (Dump Trump) and alliterative alternatives (Trump Trash), that if he doesn't choose to avail himself of some of them, his opponent and detractors surely will.
In the spirit of being helpful, I have decided to come to Donald Trump's aid in creating some slogans not only for himself, but for his prospective First Lady and running mates as well. Here are a few humble suggestions:
First, as to the candidate himself, the Big Kahuna. USA Today recently reported that Donald and his various businesses have been involved in over three thousand legal actions in the last three decades - with more than 1,900 of those being as being the plaintiffs and over 1,300 as the defendant. Donald loves his days in court! With that background, may I suggest "Vote for Trump or He'll See You in Court"? I think that speaks well to his beloved bullying nature.
Or, in a lighter vein, "Trump? Hair Yes!"
I also tried to work up something using "Draft dodger, tax dodger, and artful dodger," but couldn't get it into a presentable package.
One for Melania, the beautiful Mrs. Trump: "A Babe in a Thong Can't be Wrong." That one was so easy I expect buttons have already been printed and are waiting in boxes somewhere to be sold at the convention in Cleveland.
But it is in the arena of Veep choices where great possibilities abound.
While Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell would undoubtedly be loathe to give up the big corner suite in the Capitol that he has lusted after these many years, it could be taken from him anyway
And if that itch for Mitch goes unrequited, eager voters might instead "Scratch for Hatch." Old Orrin has been in the Senate a generation or two too long anyhow, and might want a promotion to Vice President himself.
"Free Kansas - Brownback for Veep" works on a couple of levels, as does "Make Arizona Great Again - Arpaio for Veep!"
Other longshots could include: "Don't be Rotten, Vote for Cotton," or more simply, "Pick Cotton." "Oh, Susana" (Martinez), "Rage with LePage," "Make America's Day: Clint for Veep," "Locked and Loaded, Ready with Teddy" (Nugent), or "None Greater than the Terminator: Arnold for Veep!" and "Add Hannity to the Insanity."
And then there are the better-knowns: "Sarah Palin Will Keep an Eye on Russia," "Rubio - Because Size Matters," "Launch that Cruz Missile," "Ben Carson: Incoherence is a Virtue," Jeb: More Baggage than Ringling Brothers," "Reptile Power: Dick Cheney for Veep," "Scott Brown for Under-Clown," and "Paul Ryan is a Lion (SOB)."
That's more than enough for now - at least until that cold winter morning when Santa finds a g-string hanging on the White House Christmas tree!
"Eleanor, Mamie, and Melania - Oh My!"
Now, please excuse me while I answer the phone. Donald's lawyers are on line one!