Sunday, October 9, 2011

Dwarf-Tossing: Key Component of GOP Jobs' Plan

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Wikipedia defines dwarf-tossing as a bar attraction in which dwarfs wearing special padded clothing or Velcro costumes are thrown onto mattresses or at Velcro-coated walls.  Participants compete to see who can throw the dwarf the farthest.

Dwarf-tossing was a popular "sport" in some Florida bars in the 1980's, an activity that could reach across socio-economic lines and warm the cockles of everyone from spoiled frat boys to oafish alligator-poachers.  What could be more macho and fun that throwing some little human being, who needed the money, against a wall for laughs.Why the only thing manlier would be banging some poor kid who had been forced into prostitution by the state's dismal economy.

American enterprise - God love it!  Government should just stay the hell out of the way and let the markets work!

Then in 1989 one of those pesky liberal activist groups, the Little People of America, got so significantly appalled by this dehumanizing activity that its members convinced the Florida Legislature to outlaw dwarf-tossing.  Any bar that kept up the practice would lose its liquor license.  Suddenly tens or even dozens of Florida's little people had to figure out another way make a living without being a barroom joke.

Now, however, the teabaggers are riding to the rescue!

State Representative Ritch Workman, a Republican from Melbourne, has introduced House Bill 4063 which would repeal the Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco ban that restricts bars and clubs from "allowing exploitation of persons with dwarfism."

Actually Representative Workman is combing through the Florida statutes in an effort to eliminate all of the laws which he thinks should never have been passed.   (The state's court system must not be up to the task!)  He is particularly incensed by the law that prohibits dwarf-tossing, stating that the law cost a class of individuals their livelihood.  "Why would you take away jobs from somebody who wanted them?" the legislator whined.

It's good to know that politicians like Mr. Workman are focused on job creation - and on taking care of the little guy!

October is Dwarfism Awaremess Month.  Thanks for your support, Representative Workman!

1 comment:

Xobekim said...

And likewise with slavery our black population was guaranteed 100% full employment. So I suspect this dunderhead would also like to repeal the 13th Amendment. What an idiot.