Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Witch Hunt is On!

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Arizona's rampant stupidity and bigotry are quickly spreading to some of the other more backward regions of the nation, like so much intestinal cancer. Today there was a report out of Utah about a mysterious list of 1,300 individuals from that state who may or may not be undocumented workers. The list was sent out to reporters, state officials, and Utah politicians along with a demand that something be done about these purported illegal aliens. The list is spreading rapidly.

So what is on this list?

The confidential information includes 1,300 names along with Social Security numbers, birth dates, workplaces, addresses, and phone numbers. It also contains the names of children in each family and due dates of pregnant women on the list. It is not the type of information that should be common knowledge, and it should definitely not be provided to teabagger imbeciles who run around with guns and think they have some Christian obligation to kill minorities.

Obviously the information came from state databases and was released by one or more disgruntled state employees. Intentionally releasing a public record is a misdemeanor punishable by a $1,000 fine. If it happened to be a protected record, the fine jumps to $5,000 with possibly five years in prison. But, hey, is there any price too great for having the privilege of doing God's work?

Remember this, you doofus hillbillies: those same government flunkies could just as easily have released your confidential information! (And you all know how much you distrust the government anyway!) Maybe the next list to be mysteriously released will contain names of individuals who contribute money to hate groups, or don't pay their child support, - or a list of suspected gun owners. That would make for interesting reading, wouldn't it?

The most shocking thing about the story out of Utah is that it didn't happen in Arizona first. Clearly, our bigots must be slacking off!

The witch hunt is on! Joe McCarthy would be so proud!

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