Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Hillary Wins Missouri by Less than a Cemetery

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Mrs. Bill Clinton defeated political insurgent and generally all-around nice guy Bernie Sanders in Missouri's Democratic presidential primary yesterday by about 1,500 votes in a contest where more than 600,000 individuals voted - or by significantly less than one percent of the total vote.  In another era of Missouri politics such a squeaker would have likely been the result of which cemeteries from St. Louis and Kansas City did or did not make it to the polls on time.

Sadly for Missouri's once proud and mighty Democratic Party, the state's Republicans sent about a third more voters to the polls yesterday than what the Democrats managed to corral.  At the end of the evening's tallying, Herr Trump was barely leading Ted the Liar by 382,000 to 380,000, or two-tenths of one percent.

It was a squeaker for both parties, with large numbers of voters expressing their dissatisfaction with the national front-runners.

However, things were a little better defined out here in the woods.  Howell County, where I live and vote, sent 8,455 Republicans to the polls versus just 2,071 Democrats - or right at a four-to-one ratio.  Trump took fifty percent of the Republican vote with 4,239.  Cruz came in second with 37% or 3,146 actual votes.  Kasich was third with 491 (6%) and Rubio was fourth with 351 (4%).  The remainder of the clown car included Carson with 105, Huckabee with 49, Bush at 19, and nine votes each for Rand Paul, Chris Christie, and Little Ricky Santorum.

And, if there was one bright spot to the whole ludicrous day, it was this:  Bernie won Howell County - handily!  The progressive senator from Vermont took 1,209 votes to Hillary's 833.  Everyone else on the ballot scored a whopping combined total of 29 votes.  Bernie 58%, Hillary 40%!  Howl County, you rock!

If Hillary wants to win Missouri in the fall, she had better start improving her ground game - because she's going to need all of the voters she can dig up!

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