Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Speaker Dick

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Iran's best friend in American politics, Senator Tom Cotton of Arkansas, suggested yesterday that Dick Cheney might make a good Speaker of the House.   And while the attention-starved young lawmaker was obviously just casting about in hopes of snagging a headline or two, his suggestion does make some sense - at least from a deranged point of view.  The reason the Republican Party is having so much difficulty coming up with a Speaker is because the House has been captured by the tea-bagger rabble, and anyone who tries to impose some order on the place will be committing political suicide.

But Cheney's already dead, politically speaking.   He has run his last race, faced down his last political opponent.  What could it hurt if he chose to sit out a few of his remaining years on the Speaker's throne?  It's not like the House will be doing anything of consequence anyway as long as Republicans are in the majority.  Dick could snarl and belch fire and drink cocktails with the high and mighty, all the while cashing those fat Halliburton checks - just like he did for eight years as Vice President.

So, yeah, the Dick probably could serve as Speaker of the House, at least on an interim basis, without causing irreparable harm toe the Republic - but then again, why risk it?  A much better fit for the Dick would be to serve as a defendant in a war crimes trial at the Hague.  There he could relive all of his old glories while the court stenographer took careful notes.  Cheney could get credit for all he did during the eight years that he ran the United States of America - into the ground.

And as for Speaker - I think I'll keep my support with Cher!

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