San Antonio Rude

by Pa Rock
Observer

A while ago I rode from my hotel to the San Antonio Airport on the airport shuttle, an expensive operation called SATrans. (To get from the airport to downtown and back is a pricey $32.00.) SATrans operates for its own benefit, and, in the process if it can benefit travelers, well, that's just gravy. When I arrived, for instance, I had to wait nearly an hour while the shuttle dogged around waiting to fill every seat. It is a money maker, pure and simple, and on top of that the drivers expect a nice tip for doing their job.

This morning there were a group of what appeared to be college students out of New York on the shuttle. When we got to the airport, everyone was busy getting their bags when the driver suddenly went theatrical. "Ma'am," he said. "Take your thirty cents back. That's not a tip, that's an insult!"

I only observed one insult, and that was the one hurled by the driver at his passenger.

My Next Career

,

by Pa Rock

This morning while running the obstacle course at the San Antonio Airport I discovered that I have a talent for smuggling. As I was dumping the contents of my pockets into the plastic tubs, I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to eat my breakfast bar.

"Piso mojado!" I exclaimed, causing every Spanish speaker within ear shot to look at their feet. I dropped the bar into the bin, resigned to the fact that a TSA employee would be enjoying my breakfast in a few minutes.

And sure enough, all hell broke loose as my three tubs (computer, shoes, books, etc) went through the x-ray machine. A little fascista came marching up to me holding the tub that contained my breakfast bar.

"Is this yours, Senor?"

"Si, Senor. Es mio."

He reached into one of my plastic bags in the tub and pulled out half a bottle of water. "You can't take this?"

"Piso mojado," I mumbled, and he looked at his feet. The little man from TSA kept the water that I had forgotten about, and me and my breakfast bar headed toward the plane.

Viva la revolucion!