Another Imaginary Check Is Headed Our Way

 

by Pa Rock

Man with a Plan

Donald John held a national GOP midterm convention in Dallas last week, a heady affair that attracted hundreds of diehard Republican revelers from several counties.  (Actually the attendance was so sparse that most of the hookers stayed home and just called it in, concentrating on providing phone and internet sex to Trump loyalists who couldn't afford the bus ticket to Dallas.) 

Fox and a couple of smaller right-wing television sources covered most of Trump's convention and rally, and people could watch from homes or their local bars - except, of course, for those who were focused on NFL season openers which were televised both nights - the Super Bowl rematch between the New England Patriots and Seattle Seahawks broadcast on NBC on Wednesday evening, and the San Francisco 49ers versus the Los Angeles Rams the following night which streamed over Netflix.  

The shut-ins who were not professional football fans probably enjoyed Trump's vanity party immensely - or at least had it available for background noise and a nightlight.

The big (and pershps only) news out of the Dallas gathering was that Donald John laid out an open-faced bribe to encourage people to vote Republican in the midterm elections - and he urged his supporters to "cheat like hell" in order to win and keep control of the House and Senate.  Trump is done being subtle!

The Trump election-interference bribe was a promise of a $5,000 US government check to every adult in the United States (245 million people) - a gift that would certainly bear Trump's signature and cost our national treasury somewhere north of $1.2 trillion.  Hell, even Elon Musk wouldn't spend that much to buy an election, but Trump, of course, is spending other people's money - his favorite kind.

Donald John says he's going to send me $5,000 and I believe him - and why shouldn't I believe him? During his second term he has already promised me another $5,000 refund for all the humanitarian fat that Elon and Big Balls and the boys squeezed out of the federal government's budget - and he has also  promised each of us a $2,000 refund on money we spent to pay his international tarifffs.

Trump, like George Washington, would never lie to me - or to us!  That money is coming!  It's up to $12,000 per adult now, and I'm going to use mine to gin up the economy.

Pa Rock is thinking jet ski!