Friday, March 24, 2017

All the Stupid that Fits

by Pa Rock
Road Warrior

This morning I made the nearly five-hour drive to Kansas City, and tomorrow I will fly out of KCI and head off to Oregon where I will spend a few days with my West Coast grandkids - Sebastian, Judah, and Willow.  I am currently enjoying the company of my Kansas grandkids - Olive and Sullivan - and they are well and happy.

The drive north was fairly uneventful, perhaps because the police were out in force.  I encountered eight law enforcement vehicles on the road (mostly Highway Patrol) with three of those working and the other five lurking. 

I especially enjoyed the drive through Springfield, Missouri, the community in which I earned three of my five college degrees.  Springfield is an ever-expanding cow town that is steeped in conservative values and big, expensive churches.   It is the second home to Senator and Mrs. Ol' Roy Blunt - on the two or three days a year when they are not staying in their multi-million dollar home in the Washington, DC, area.  Today, while cruising along on the bypass, a little car passed me with its back end covered in bumper stickers.  The biggest one said "God, Guns, and Trump" and a smaller one right under it carried the image of a Confederate flag - or, as I put it - all the stupid that could fit on the car's small backside.  My first thought as it passed me was, "Hey, the Blunts must be in town!"  But then I realized that Ol' Roy and his trophy second wife, lobbyist Abby Perlman Blunt, have probably never ridden in anything that small.

Yo, Jeeves, bring the Town Car around!

There was an old "Break Time" convenience store in Clinton, Missouri, where I used to occasionally stop for gas and gizzards (as opposed to God and guns), but while driving through that community one day last summer and hankering for a full order of hot chicken gizzards, I was shocked to find that the old facility had been torn down.  (It was in sad shape and needed demolition - just not before I got my gizzard fix!)  During a few subsequent trips north I saw that that the store was being slowly rebuilt.  On my last trip this way at the beginning of this month I noticed that the new store was up and open - but I was in a rush and didn't get to stop.

So today, as I drove north, my thoughts were consumed with the good chicken gizzards that the Break Time used to sell.  I stopped there for gas and then went inside where the special of the day appeared to be mayhem.  People were everywhere and obviously enjoying themselves.  It just so happened that today was the"open house" for the new convenience store, and there was free food galore as well as other things.  I dined on free pizza, cheese bread, a small portion of a barbecue sandwich, and a mini-malt.  Sadly, though, there were no chicken gizzards!  I also spun a prize wheel and won a nice water bottle, won a free Powerball ticket at the Missouri Lottery table, and picked up a heavy duty chip bag clip.  The open house was scheduled for a four-hour period, one day only, and old Pa Rock stumbled right into the middle of it!  That has to bode well for the Powerball ticket that I won!

But now, as with the back end of that little car, I seem to have reached the point at which all of my available space has been slathered in stupid.

More tomorrow from the Left Coast!

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