After the horrible experience that I had last week in mowing my expansive yard with a push mower (eighteen hours - and some of it had already been done for me), I knew that this week I would buy a rider. Never mind that I can't afford a rider - I can't afford a stroke either!
I believe in shopping at home whenever possible, and avoiding the chain stores - also whenever possible. After visiting at least a half-dozen places in West Plains that sell mowers, and not being satisfied with any of them enough to plop down the equivalent of two social security checks, I headed off to Lowe's in Mountain Home, Arkansas - the closest store of that type to West Plains. I had shopped there before and received exemplary assistance from a sales clerk as well as from the store manager. (The service was so good that I went on the Internet and filled out one of their happy customer forms.)
(There is also a Home Depot in Mountain Home, but I am boycotting them as long as they welcome armed goons to shop in their stores.)
I had done a lot of mower research before going to Lowe's on Tuesday and was fairly certain of what I was going to purchase - a beautiful green and yellow John Deere regular rider - not one the more expensive, but faster, zero-turn models. But a problem arose when I sat on the mower: it wasn't comfortable. (On those rare occasions when I buy a vehicle, comfort is always my number one requirement.)
At that point, realizing that a sale was faltering, a very adroit saleslady led me over to the Husqvarnas - and, like Goldilocks, I found one that fit my saggy old behind just right. The orange and gray Swedish machine had a more powerful engine than the John Deere, six inches more of cutting swath, was made of metal as opposed to the John Deere's predominantly plastic body, and was a hundred dollars cheaper. All of that plus the 10% discount that Lowe's gives to veterans. It was a no-brainer!
My new best friend was delivered this morning, and even though the lawn does not currently need a mow, I took it for a spin anyway. Five minutes of cutting with the 24-horsepower engine and a 48-inch (four feet!) swath cut more grass than I could have mowed in an hour with the push mower. And that baby can move along at an impressive seven-and-a-half miles an hour! (George Jones, who once famously rode his riding mower ten miles to the local tavern after Tammy took his car keys away, would have loved it!)
So that orange streak coming at you probably isn't a bird, and it probably isn't a plane. It's most likely Pa Rock mowing his yard and working on a land speed record! Stand aside, I'm coming through!