Tuesday, November 6, 2012

All My Friends Are Going to be Strangers

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Oh, how I will miss those old friends of mine!

I guess that my biggest concern as this nasty election campaign comes to a close today is this:  who will step forward to begin filling my email in-basket with frantic appeals for money?  The  sudden loss of over fifty emails a day is likely to plunge me into the depths of social media withdrawal to such an extent that I may not be able to get out of bed and make it to work for weeks!

I am really going to miss all of those upbeat memes telling how well the candidates are doing, but how, without additional dollars from me personally, the forces of darkness will rush back in and prevail.  All of democracy, it seemed, rested on whether I could scrape together just a few more dollars to help defend America from the barbarians.

And the begging via text messages!  I will miss that, too.  Though I still wonder just how the campaigns managed to get my new telephone number so quickly.  If the police wanted to find someone in a hurry, they ought to consider working with the large campaign organizations - because those goobers can find anyone!  Along with the text messages, of course, came a few annoying telephone calls.  The text messages I could just ignore, but I had to actually become engaged with telephone beggars.  And like any good telemarketer, they always called during the evening meal.

I will miss those guys so much.

I will also miss the cement heads who quit communicating with me because they figured if I was voting for a known socialist, then I must be a socialist also.  And though most of those macaroons wouldn't know a socialist from a street car conductor, they knew they didn't like them.    Their Jesus wouldn't have liked socialists either.

And Facebook!  So many of my new email friends begged me to "like" them on Facebook.    I don't "like" Facebook, so it is damned unlikely that I would wade into that social sewer to "like" a candidate, no matter how socialistic he or she appears to be!  (I always thought the important place to be "liked" was in the voting booth - but I may be living in the past.)

If you are thinking about "liking" me, please do it with cash.

Today we vote, and tomorrow we probably sit in electronic silence and ponder our toenails until anticipation for the 2014 elections begins to ramp up.  It may be several weeks before that happens, so be brave and concentrate on holiday shopping.

Black Friday is coming!

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