Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Stepford Candidates

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist  

As the dust begins to settle from the big New Hampshire Republican debate, the race is on for journalists to tell us who won, and, more importantly, who is going to win.  The first actual primary votes won't be cast for nearly six months, but the campaign hacks and professional spinners are frantically trying  to make their man or woman look like the inevitable candidate - and American journalists have risen to the bait and are rigorously disseminating the message.

Mitt Romney won because everyone was fearful of looking too mean or shifty or underhanded if they laid a glove on him - that's the spin that seemed to carry the furthest.  The rest of the spin is that Mitt is the most sane of the pack and the most electable.  Some would also argue that the same holds true for former Utah governor, Jon Huntsman.  Huntsman did not lose the New Hampshire debate because he chose to sit it out.  Huntsman, like Romney, has a wealth of experience in business and govenment, a personal fortune, an impeccable reputation, and a highly photogenic family.

Romney and Huntsman are very much alike when it comes to their families.  Romney, who has only been married once, has a pretty wife and five handsome sons - all over the age of thirty.  The Romney's appear to be a family that was assembled by a Hollywood casting agency - Stepfords, one and all.  But so too are the Huntsman's.  Mrs. Huntsman is pretty, and apparently politically ambitious.  They have five children of their own - three daughters and two sons - all grown - as well as two younger adopted daughters, one from India and the other from China.  The Huntsman's are also very, very Stepford - with a bit of an international twist.

And even though the Romney's and Huntsman's are picture-perfect, they each have two significant deficits - as least as far as some members of their party are concerned.  Both have expressed the occasional grain of commonsense - such as their shared belief in man-made global warming or their understanding that government does have some social responsibilities.  But beliefs such as those are an anathema to teabagger riffraff who think they control the Republican party - mouth-breathers whom Romney and Huntsman will have to court, at least nominally, until the nominating conventions next year.

The other Achilles heel shared by the two pretty boys is their religion.  Both are Mormon.  While many people fully accept Mormonism as a Christian religion,  that is not the case with all Christian fundamentalists - most of whom are firmly aligned with - or are members of - the teabagger branch of the GOP.  Many of those individuals regard Mormonism as a cult.

The Romney's or the Huntsman's would look great on the White House Christmas card, but I think that it is damned unlikely that the right-wing rabble will sit idly by and let either of them get the Republican nomination - regardless of what the spinners are trying to tell us today.  And if hell freezes over and one of them does get the nomination, that person would still have to defeat a very popular President Obama.

The chances of hell freezing over twice in one year are not good.

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