Monday, November 2, 2009

Republican Family Values in South Carolina

by Pa Rock
Political Commentator

Up until last week Roland Corning was a political hack working as an assistant attorney general in the state of South Carolina. Before coming to that august post he had served a few terms as a representative in the South Carolina legislature where he was known for trumpeting "family values" and opposing abortion legislation.

But now the sanctimonious Roland, age 66, is unemployed. He lost his job over a dalliance with an 18-year-old female stripper in his Ford Escort in a Columbia, SC, cemetery. When a curious policeman pulled up to see what was going on, Roland sped away, but he was soon cornered by another policeman and had to 'splain himself.

The first thing that the hapless miscreant did was to pull out his attorney general's badge and try to use his political clout. Unfortunately for him, the arresting officer was married to a woman who worked in that same office, so he phoned her to see if old Roland was a legitimate assistant to the attorney general. The policeman's wife promptly informed her boss, and the attorney general just as promptly fired Roland Corning.

It gets funnier, or sadder, depending on your point of view. The arresting officer asked for and received permission to check the Corning vehicle. His search revealed a container of Viagra, for which Roland said that he had a prescription, and a bag of sex toys. Roland Corning purportedly told the officer that he always kept the sex toys in the car "just in case."

The only way this story could have been any better was if the 18-year-old stripper had been a guy!

South Carolina: home of Bob Jones University, Governor Mark ("Don't Cry for Me Argentina") Sanford, Senator Jim DeMint whose own self-proclaimed foreign policy initiatives border on treason, and idiot Congressman Joe "You lie!" Wilson. It must be something in the water - or very bad breeding!

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