Thursday, September 4, 2008

Dear John McBush

Dear John McBush,
Over the past two evenings I have written to your running mate and her daughter giving them my sage advice. And as there is still some sage left in the old cranium, I thought that I would sprinkle some your way too.

Please take what I am about to say in the spirit of constructive criticism: I believe, with every fiber of my being, that you would make a horrible President. We both know that residents of Arizona have conducted most of their U.S. Senate business through Senator Kyl for the past several years because you have been too busy cheerleading for the war, running for President, napping, and chasing tail to engage in the mundane business of legislating or assisting constituents with their issues. It is not uncommon to hear Arizonans talk about their two equine Senators - Kyl the workhorse, and McCain the show horse.

But it isn't your laziness or tom-catting that I find off-putting in the current Presidential election. Indeed we have suffered and survived lazy bastards and whore mongers living at the White House before - and undoubtedly will again. And it isn't even your insane support for the unwarranted and impossible-to-win Oil War that has me the most concerned, because we have had other dumb asses in the White House and survived them as well.

The thing that I find absolutely unforgivable about your quest to be President is your age. John, you are seventy-two years old. You are a tired old man. You are so old and so tired that you seldom campaign on weekends. The Presidency is a hard job, a job that needs to be managed by a healthy, alert, and very bright young person. It is not the type of thing that us old farts need to aspire to. Set that vanity aside and act your age!

Do you know that the brains of adult humans shrink as they get older, and that the shrinking really starts to kick into gear around the age of sixty? Remember sixty, John? It was twelve years ago! I'm sixty now, and I know that my energy level and my memory have decreased markedly over the past few years.

John, you would probably make a decent neighbor (though, please God, not mine!), but you are too old and cranky to lead the free world. Pack it in, Partner. It's time to dust off the golf cart, get rid of all those troublesome houses, and move to Sun City. You'll like it there, and if you don't, give it a couple of more years and you won't know where you're at anyway!

Yours for Obama in '08!

Pa Rock
Goodyear, AZ

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