Not Every Senior Citizen Is Dumb as a Turnip

by Pa Rock

Wrong Side of Seventy

Living on an idyllic country lane in the very red (politically) Missouri Ozarks, and being on the wrong side of seventy, I find myself battling a constant stream of mail from right-wing organizations eager to get their grubby hands deep into my nearly empty pockets.  "The Epoch Times," a rag that purports to be a "news" paper, sends me sample copies with alarming regularity, and the National Rifle Association also likes to take the occasional dump in my mailbox to remind me that they are still out there protecting my freedom to own as many automatic weapons as I damn well please - and keeping Wayne LaPierre wrapped in the finest Italian suits.

And then there is the ever-present American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), a purported lobbying group for issues affecting senior citizens but whose primary purpose generally seems to be inundating gullible older people with all manner of useless insurance policies.  I have gotten pissed off with AARP on multiple occasions in the past and cancelled my membership, but I always eventually come crawling back for the discounts that being a member generates whenever I travel.  

But politically AARP is to the right of me, and their occasional political pleadings often make me uncomfortable and sometimes downright angry.

This week I received a packet of junk mail from an organization which seems to want to replace AARP as the primary lobbying group for seniors because they consider AARP to be too liberal!  Have mercy!  The 

Association of Mature American Citizens  (AMAC) is giving me a free - yes FREE - trial membership that extends all the way up through October 8th of this year.  (I will have to rush to get that on my resume!). After that I would begin paying for the privilege of being a member - but - and this is important - a basic membership would get me a free keychain with the group's official logo imprinted upon it, a three-year membership would get me a small five-funticon knife (think a budget version of a "Swiss Army" knife), and a five-year membership would get me two of those little pocket knives, one for me and one for "a spouse, loved one, or friend."  Woohoo!  (And if I were saddled with a spouse, that unfortunate person could be a member for free if I joined for one, three, or five years.  What a deal!)

But the really big deal with AMAC is that is bills itself as being far to the political right of AARP - and I did not even know that was possible!  

The company's recruitment contained just one "celebrity" endorsement - from Allen West, a retired Army lieutenant colonel and a one term GOP congressman from Florida (2011-2013).  The material also touted benefits from a handful of companies including "Papa Johns" (Now there's a surprise!).

The advertisment says that AMAC has a membership of 2.4 million and has a goal of growing that to 3 million.   It describes itself as being an "America-saving army of conservative seniors."  

Notable in the advertisement is a reference to "Medicare for All" as a "socialist scheme," and a warning that AARP employees and members gave seven times more money to "Medicare for All" supporting candidates than to Republicans.  They also talked about "voting irregularities" (presumably in the last election, the one where Donald Trump was soundly defeated) and portrayed the imagined irregularities as a threat to "your sacred vote."  They also accuse AARP of supporting ObamaCare.  And from there on their pleadings just get sadder and sadder.

The AARP is to the right of my comfort zone, so I definitely have no desire to send money to a group that claims to be to the right of them.  But I appreciated the ask, just the same.   I don't watch Fox, so the occasional right-wing propaganda that makes its way into my mailbox helps to enlighten me on the current delusions of America's paranoids.  

So AMAC, I guess I will pass for now.  But when you write again - as I am certain you will - if you would do me the courtesy of enclosing a self-addressed, stamped envelope, I will tape it to a fine Missouri paving brick and send it back to you.  If enough thoughtful seniors do that, you can build a patio to sun on in your golden years while dining leisurely on Papa John's pizza and washing it down with right-wing koolaid.

In the meantime I will continue to support politicians who strive to help others through things like feeding the hungry, housing the poor, and taking care of the ill and infirm through programs like Medicare for All - and I won't be shamed for having a conscience by some squeaky little right-wing noise machine that is trying to shake a few dollars out of the pockets of senior citizens.

But again, thanks for writing!