Friday, June 23, 2017

The Collectors

by Pa Rock
Bestower of Trash

For the past couple of weeks I have been way too involved in cleaning out a garage packed with trash and treasure - stuff once thought permanently hidden beneath other stuff.  As I pull these chunks of history out into the cold light of modern times, I am astounded to find that much of it is completely worthless and had no business being "stored" in the first place.  (To my credit, much of it was never mine to begin with but was the accumulation of an errant adult child whose world collapsed.)

When I first moved to The Roost I struggled with getting rid of all of the "stuff" that the previous owners chose to just walk away from.  I brought in a dumpster and spent weeks filling it with multiple loads of trash and crap left in the various outbuildings.  This time I have not brought in the dumpster - yet - because I have found a cheaper and more sensible way to redistribute the booty.

I put it out by the road a piece or two at a time along with a sign that reads "free."   It all goes quickly.  So far I have gotten rid of an empty stereo cabinet, a busted baby stroller, a plastic file box in pieces, and a wealth of other useless stuff.

A few days ago I took a half dozen partial cans of paint of various colors to the local dump, a place that had taken paint in the past after my trash man refused the honor.  This time the young man sent me away and told me to first dry the paint with cat litter.  Then, it would cost me twelve dollars to leave it at the dump.  Twelve dollars is the minimum and would cover up to five hundred pounds.  I brought the paint home, set it out by the road, and it was gone within an hour.

I haven't seen all of the people who stop by and load up my discards, but I did catch a glimpse of the couple who took the paint and the busted baby stroller.  They were older and driving a dilapidated pick-up truck.  He looked like Santa Claus after a rough night of drinking with the elves, and she resembled Elvira at about eighty.  The baby stroller obviously wasn't for their personal use!

Back when I first moved to The Roost  and was getting rid of other people's trash, I set some aluminum-framed windows out by the road,  Most were bent and twisted and had glass that was either cracked or broken.   Two guys pulled up at nearly the same time and almost came to blows over that treasure.  The first guy wound up taking the windows because he was first - and that's the law of the backwoods.  He bragged to me that he had a pasture where he kept piles of stuff that he might need someday, and those windows would go to that pasture storage.  The second guy whined that he could actually use them now.  Figuring that both were undoubtedly armed, I let them settle it.

Today I have some real treasure to place out by the road - a long piece of black dryer hose, a ten foot section of plastic sewer pipe - with a large chunk missing, and a truck tire.  Mayhem is anticipated.  I am thinking about cancelling my trash service and several times a week putting a bag full of trash out by the road with a sign saying "Free!  Grab Bag Special!"  Somebody is sure to take them!

And I'm singing Elvira - 
My heart is on fire-uh for Elvira!

1 comment:

Xobekim said...

You have illustrated a luxury of country living we city folk don't get to enjoy. Recently my neighbors, a young couple, decided to tear down their aging fence and build another. In the process a large pile of old fence was joined by good size scraps of brand new wood.

Now at your place the wood would have been collected by your grateful neighbors. Up here I witnessed the city's code enforcement officer observe the wood pile, from several angles, drive slowly, stop his little pickup truck, & compile his notes. No doubt for his efforts to improve the neighborhood the young couple received a code enforcement letter with a deadline, else a visit to our municipal court would follow. They already had plans to remove their "construction debris."

I think of all those cub scouts who didn't get to use that wood building bird houses. Enjoy the good life on the farm my friend.