Friday, June 16, 2017

Make Congress Safer: Bring in More Guns

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

One of the old farts at pinochle this past Wednesday night was droning on about that day's shooting at a congressional baseball practice outside of Washington, DC.  "Now," he reasoned, "all of those politicians are going to want to start carrying guns."  Most undoubtedly already do carry weapons as they traverse the poor urban landscape of our nation's capitol, a place as foreign to many of them as the wild shores of faraway places that they witnessed in the pages of National Geographic as they were growing up.  They have accepted the unrelenting fascist rhetoric emanating from the headquarters of the National Rifle Association which states emphatically that more guns make us safer.

What my friend was trying to say was that now those elected politicians will be wanting to carry their weapons onto the floors of the House and Senate.  By openly carrying throughout the Capitol building Representatives and Senators will have more control over their own safety.  They will be able to ward off attacks by crazed reporters in the hallways of Congress, and fire back at would-be assassins shooting from the spectator galleries.

It would just be a basic safety measure - much like allowing all passengers on airlines to carry loaded weapons to keep potential hijackers at bay.

And, as an extra security measure, the House of Representatives could appoint Ted Nugent as its Sergeant at Arms.   Old Ready Teddy with an Uzi could maintain order in the House - you betcha he could!

All manner of scary legislation is likely to emerge as a result of Wednesday's tragic shooting - all manner except one.   Under absolutely no circumstances will Congress adopt any plan that would impede the sale of guns in America.  Angering Wayne LaPierre is a risk that most congressmen and senators are unwilling to take.  They would rather dodge bullets.

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