Big Ol' Rat
Tomorrow is the Chinese New Year, a date which marks the beginning of the Chinese lunar year 4712.
As anyone who has ever eaten at a Chinese restaurant and studied the place mat knows, the lunar zodiac used by the Chinese (and many other peoples around the world) is divided into twelve signs, each represented by an animal. The year of the snake is now coming to an end, and the year of the horse is upon us.
The twelve signs of the lunar zodiac are: rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig.
I am a rat which undoubtedly explains a lot of things.
The rat is the first sign in the lunar zodiac, In the solar zodiac I am an Aries. Aries also happens to be the first sign in that zodiac as well. Taken together, those signs are undoubtedly responsible for my immense wealth, unmatched intellect, and amazing good looks. The signs never lie.
I have five grandchildren: a pig, an ox, and three rabbits. Each of my three children, in fact, produced a rabbit. Should all of those little bunnies wind up breeding like rabbits - at some point I will probably be known as Adam.
Each animal sign on the lunar zodiac possesses certain characteristics. Those children born during the year of the horse are likely to have good communication skills, be cheerful and stubborn, crave success, and be popular and talented.
A couple of years ago I was on a tour of Vietnam with a friend. At one point our guide arranged a quick meeting with his pregnant wife. Later he told us that her pregnancy had been planned so that the baby would be born in the year of the dragon. Dragon children are likely to be energetic, powerful, difficult to oppose, super positive, and full of vitality and strength. He said that parents considered themselves fortunate if they had a child born during the year of the dragon.
Tonight there will be fireworks and bells ringing around the world as an old snake slithers away and an eager young colt comes charging forward. It would be a wonderful evening to celebrate the immense and rich diversity of humankind.
And whatever your sign, have a great 4712!