Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Horror! The Horror!

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

For a person who supposedly holds the mainstream media in such contempt, Michele Bachmann, the bad joke that some devious dipsticks in and around St. Paul, Minnesota, foisted on our Congress, can't seem to go a day without making headlines.  It is almost as though she craves attention.

Today's Bachmann news jewel involves the full-body scanners that are beginning to be employed at airports across America in an attempt to protect the flying public from terrorists.  Well, few fly as high as the haughty Ms. Bachmann, and she ain't a havin' none of that full-body stuff.  The reason?  Ms. Bachmann (who is just a couple of years and a bad dye job away from being Jan Brewer's twin) is fearful that if she allows her body to be scanned, naked pictures of her will show up on the Internet!



The internets, of course, have been ablaze all day with theories as to Bachmann's real reason for wanting to avoid the airport scanners - everything from the notion that a good scan might prove that she really is brainless, to the saucier idea that the Bible-thumping, gay-bashing Congresswoman might be actually be packing a penis!

Michele, my diagnosis is narcissistic paranoia on a grand scale, and my treatment plan is that you get a grip.  But in the event that you are right and nudie shots of you make it into the public domain, I will print up multiple copies - because, you see, I have a little farm in the Ozarks that is plagued with crows!

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