Saturday, March 6, 2010

McCain & Lieberman: Is the Bromance Over?

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Is all this fuss regarding what to do with gays in the military about to break-up one of the sweetest couples in the Senate? Can it really be that crabby old John McCain and his bromantic buddy, evil old Joe Lieberman, are about to split the metaphorical sheets?

Where has the time gone? It was just a few months ago, the fall of 2008, when John McCain was busy running for President with Joe Lieberman, a Democrat in name only, standing proudly by his side while giving the bird with both hands to the nation's real Democrats. John and Joe, they were literally joined at the fly, and poor Lindsey Graham was so wracked with jealousy over his fickle John that he could barely obstruct the nation's business!

But not to worry, Lindsey - storm clouds are rolling in!

John McCain, who graduated at the bottom of his class at the Naval Academy, went on to have a notable military career sitting in a North Vietnamese prison for seven years. He eventually got out of his cage, returned home, divorced his handicapped wife, married a rich woman half his age, and got in politics. As a national politician with military experience, he was able to fashion himself as somewhat of a military expert. (That probably drew more than a few snickers from his old professors at the Naval Academy!)

Not too long ago John McCain went out on a limb and told reporters that he would support the ending of Don't Ask Don't Tell when military leaders told him that it was time for the policy to go. Crusty old John figured it would be a cold day in hell before any military leaders would speak up in defense of gays in the military.

This year, however, the Secretary of Defense, Bob Gates, and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mike Mullen, have both spoken up in favor of ending the ill-conceived and outdated ban on gays serving openly in the Armed Forces.


And to make matters worse for McCain, he was suddenly being challenged by a right-wing, tea-bagging, reptile back home in Arizona. If John was going to save his flabby Senate hide he needed to be getting his talking points out of Mein Kampf, not toadying to liberals by keeping his word.

What's a political animal to do?

The answer was obvious. He had to do an end run around Gates and Mullen by getting some other military brass to speak out against ending Don't Ask Don't Tell - big brass, really big brass, lots and lots of really big brass!

Old John, being the tricky devil that he is, pulled a letter out of his ass that was supposedly signed by "over a thousand retired and flag general officers." (That's active and retired generals and admirals for you civilian types.) He obviously had to stand by those thousand brave individuals and keep them damn military homosexuals locked in the closet. And if his cheesy ploy helped him with the crackers back home in Arizona, so much the better!

However, a group of malcontents called Servicemembers United soon issued a report challenging some of the signatures on McCain's convenient letter. There report said, in part:

"At least one signer, Gen. Louis Menetrey, was deceased when the letter was published and didn't sign the document himself...his wife signed the document for him after his death using a power of attorney - six years after Alzheimer's disease robbed him of the ability to communicate."

While John McCain might not see dead people, he was, at least, hearing from them!

There were also some living signatories who have stated that they did not sign the letter.

Servicemembers United also pointed out that many of the signers were older than creaky old John himself, making their relevancy in the modern world somewhat suspect. The average age of the signers was seventy-four, and the oldest signer was ninety-eight!

Not a good week for Arizona's senior senator. He was definitely sucking the big one!

But then came the cruelest cut of all when McCain's bosom buddy, Joe Lieberman, announced this week that he was going to introduce legislation in Congress to end Don't Ask Don't Tell.

Et tu, Joe? Et tu?

The embarrassing truth is that while McCain has to pander to the right to win reelection in batshit Arizona, his east coast doppelganger, Joe Lieberman, must kiss the asses of more than a few liberals if he is to squeeze out another victory in Connecticut.

Ain't love a bitch!

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