by Rocky Macy
When the clutterment gets so high that you have to go outside to get from room to room, it’s time to clean the cabin. I push a path through mine on a regular basis – annually!
Last Saturday was the big day. Heck Frye, my usually too-close neighbor, came by at daybreak to help me out so he and I could get to the big auction that afternoon. We planned our strategy over coffee.
“Heck,” I said, “Let’s start by wiping out the things that breed. If you’ll tackle the dirty dishes, I’ll do the laundry.”
“And after that,” he laughed, “I want to have a go at those cobwebs. Some of them look old enough to qualify as historic landmarks.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me none. The dust bunnies under the bed are drawing social security!”
As I poured our third or fourth cup of coffee, Heck got up and made a trip to the latrine, carefully checking the lay of the land en route. Kicking his way back to the kitchen table, he observed rather wryly that several visits to the dump would be in order.
“Just back your truck up to the window,” I told him. “We’ll toss out everything that doesn’t fight back – and some of the things that do!”
“What about that colossal ring in your bathtub?”
“It goes, too!” I snapped. “This is no time to get sentimental.”
We got the place in order, and had a lot of fun doing it. That afternoon at the sale, Heck told Esther Pearl about our adventures in housecleaning.
“Why, Rusty,” she cooed, trying a bit too hard to sound like Gladys Clench. “It appears as though you need a wife.”
“Esther,” I fought back, “I’m busy enough as it is. When would I find time to pick up after a wife?”
Leastways, that’s how I see it!
Auction Tip: If two auctions are scheduled for the same time, try visiting both locations on the evening prior. An advance look at the merchandise will help you decide where to spend your money and your time.