Thursday, February 7, 2008

10 Things I Hate About Billary

1. Sense of Entitlement: Some commentators noted in 2000 that George W. Bush approached the Presidency as though it was something owed to him, a graduation gift perhaps. Billary approaches it in the same manner. She has waited patiently, caused a few potholes in New York to be fixed, and cast every Senate vote in a manner that would play well in a general election. Now, it’s her turn, and how dare anyone try to derail her destiny!

2. Manipulation: The National Democratic Party decided to boycott Michigan and Florida for their insistence on having primaries before Super Tuesday. Obama and Edwards had their names removed from the Michigan primary ballot in support of the national party. Billary did not, and, not surprisingly, “won” that primary because she was the only big name left on the ballot. Then she used that “victory” for bragging rights. As soon as Billary lost in South Carolina, Big Bill started talking about the next primary and how she would redeem herself there. The next primary was Florida, where all Democratic candidates had agreed not to campaign and where, like Michigan, no delegates were to be awarded. Billary had two fundraisers in Florida immediately preceding the election, and announced she would fly to Florida when the polls closed to thank her supporters. The whole circus was framed as a victory party. Now she is whining about the unfairness of not counting the Michigan and Florida delegates. Puh…leese!

3. Lobbyists: While Barack Obama and John Edwards were able to honestly claim that they did not accept contributions from lobbyists, Billary pointed out that “lobbyists are people, too.” She has single-handedly accepted more money from lobbyists than any other candidate from either party. What kind of health care plan can we expect from someone who is owned by the pharmaceutical and medical industries? K Street whores should ply their trade in the streets like their working class counterparts – not in the Oval Office.

4. Experience: Billary loves to rattle on about her thirty-five years of experience. She does have a lot of experience, but it is certainly not all laudable. How about her experience in the White Water land shenanigans? Or her experience in the White House with Travel Gate? Maybe she would like to spotlight her experience in maiming the working class as a Wal-Mart Corporate Board Member. And let’s not forget her experience in the 1993 health care fiasco. A big part of Billary’s “experience” can be more accurately looked at as “baggage.”

5. Race-Baiting: Billary's main political tactic in the South Carolina Primary seemed to be reminding everyone that Obama is black. Unfortunately for her, she offended a big part of what should have been her natural constituency. This is America in the 21st century, not Arkansas in the 1980’s. Billary should be ashamed, and Big Bill should be caned!

6. Truthfulness: Billary met Sir Edmund Hillary in Nepal several years ago. She told him that her mother had named her after him in order to inspire greatness in her daughter. Big Bill even recounted the meeting and that statement in his autobiography. The problem with that story is that Sir Edmund Hillary was a virtual unknown before he climbed Mt. Everest in 1953. Billary was born in 1947. Whoops! When that inconsistency was pointed out to her, Billary blamed the whole mix-up on her poor, old mother. What a piece of work!

7. Dramatic Ability: A few tears and a breaking voice bought her New Hampshire. Will the same tactic work at a heated conference with world leaders? Will it make a crisis go away?

8. Testosterone Level: In an effort to prove that she has cajones the size of coconuts, Billary voted to allow Bush to use force against Iraq for its involvement in 9/11, or its on-going manufacturing of weapons of mass destruction, or any other fiction that caught the President’s fancy. General election voters needed to know that she was as tough (and as dumb) as any man!

9. Refusal to Admit Mistakes: Billary moans and groans about the awfulness of the war in Iraq, but she just can’t bring herself to admit that her vote enabling the President to take our troops into this foolish misadventure was a mistake.

10. Tendency to Polarize: Rightly or wrongly, Billary is a lightening rod. People love her or hate her – there is no middle ground. She is the one person capable of coalescing this year’s Republican mess into an effective political organization. They all hate Billary!

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