Ken Lewis Gets His Butt Fired!

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

It was announced yesterday that Ken Lewis, the CEO of Bank of America, will be "retiring" at the end of the year. The truth, of course, is that the embattled uber-banker is finally getting what he so justly deserves - fired! Welcome to the economic downturn, Ken!

But it really isn't much of a downturn for Ken. True, he does lose a lot of power and prestige, and he won't be thumbing his nose at the American people anymore by riding the Bank of America's private jet in and out of Washington, DC, like some Saudi potentate. But with a retirement package of $54 million and another $18 million in deferred payments, Ken will be able to lick his wounds in style and live quite comfortably, thank you very much!

So if Ken was such a colossal fuck-up that he merited the public humiliation of being fired, how could Bank of America afford to give him such a lavish send-off? Was it bailout cash that came from the chump taxpayers? Possibly. But what is more likely is that it came off of the backs of BOA's credit card holders - people like Jordan Cid.

Private Jordan Cid joined the U.S. Army when he was seventeen. That same year he got a debit card from his bank - yup, Bank of America. Being a minor, he had to get his parent's permission in order to secure the debit card.

Young Private Cid used his card for many small purchases each month - pizza, lunches, movies - the things most young people typically spend their wages on. The seventeen-year-old soldier didn't worry too much about keeping up with his balance because he knew that he had overdraft protection. What he didn't realize was that the overdraft fee charged by Bank of America was a hefty and predatory $35 per check! In five months he accumulated $1,785 in overdraft fees.

Private Cid's parents got involved and told Bank of America to quit honoring his checks - but BOA declined to kill their cash cow. The matter eventually came to the attention of the press, including NBC Nightly News, and Bank of America decided to refund Private Cid's overdraft fees - no one else's of course, just those of the kid who made the evening news!

American banks are expecting to reap an astounding $27 billion in overdraft fees this year. It is one of their largest income streams, and it comes almost exclusively from the poor. Most of these scurrilous bastard banks hold checks until the end of the day, then they pay the biggest ones first, causing many little checks to bounce into the overdraft bucket. It's robbery worthy of John Dillinger or Bonnie and Clyde!

But the good news is that Ken Lewis is getting his! The bad news, however, is that he is also getting ours, theirs, and everyone else's!

Thank you, sir! May I have another!

The Tea Party Mentality

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Today marks the deadline for paying 2008 income taxes, and the public citizenry from coast-to-coast marked the occasion by holding symbolic "tea parties" created to form some link with the American patriots who dumped the British tea in Boston Harbor over two centuries ago. The original protesters were defiant because they were being taxed without representation in the British Parliament. While today's rabble are represented in Congress, many feel powerless to stop government from engaging in practices and programs that they personally oppose. The way to defeat the beast, they figure, is to starve it by not paying taxes - or at least by calling attention to their concerns through dramatic action - like tea parties. The mobs were intense and vocal.

And they also had a lot of fun mugging for the cameras - and Fox News was absolutely giddy putting up wall-to-wall coverage of their political antics.

And then there was poor Texas! First Chuck Norris threatened to run for President of the Republic of Texas, and today the Lone Star's crackpot governor, Rick Perry (the one with the great hair!), played the enabler to Norris's egomaniacal ambitions by talking about leading the state into secession! Even Texas deserves better than those two bozos!

I am old enough to remember well when Ronald Reagan was President. Most of today's protesters revere Reagan as somewhere to the right of God. Reagan "lowered" taxes several times, and each time that he did, my taxes went up. He was lowering taxes, just not mine. The business classes and the very rich did very well under Reagan, but their tax windfalls never did trickle down to those on the bottom rungs of the economic ladder.

My take home pay has actually increased with Barack Obama's tax cuts. His new tax cuts really do cut taxes - for everyone making less than a quarter of a million dollars a year. Tax cuts that cut taxes - what a concept!

In fairness to democracy's foot soldiers and their tea bags, they are also fired up about the zillions of dollars going out of the treasury to try and help pump up the economy. I don't like it either, especially when monster banks like Bank of America take the free money while raising interest rates on credit cards (even to their good customers) - and while plotting the overthrow of America's unions.

Yup, that sucks. But know two things: 1. We are in this mess because America put George Bush in the White House (kinda sorta), and he spent eight years deregulating everything. The result was an unfettered economic system that overdosed on its own greed and avarice. 2. We have a much better opportunity of surviving the Bush mess with the powerful intellect of Barack Obama at the helm of the ship-of-state. I may not like the plan, but I am willing to give it a chance.

A good portion of today's protesters probably are genuinely concerned about the massive debt that we are piling on our grandchildren. I certainly am. But I have been concerned for a long time. I was concerned when we went charging off to Iraq without provocation. I was concerned when stories started making the news about pallets of currency being moved around in Iraqi warehouses by forklifts, and those forklifts were operated by private companies with names like Blackwater, and Kellogg, Brown, and Root. I was concerned when Dick Cheney clearly showed us the arrogance of the executive branch by running the war and the economy in secret, revealing the identity of a CIA covert agent for political payback, and telling an inquisitive and respected member of the United States Senate to "go fuck yourself." That wasn't my America.

I voted for Barack Obama to get my America back. It was once a decent place that stood out as a bright and shining example of democracy and civility. The Bush administration of crooks and liars threw our greatness into the crapper. The rich got richer, the poor got much poorer, and hate became the order of the day. That must change, and suddenly there is hope that it can change.

But I came of age in the sixties, and I appreciate a good national protest as much as anyone!

Make tea, not war!

Say What?

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Life is fairly predictable, world events are generally predictable, and American politics are completely predictable - or so I thought - until today. We all know that Democrats cater to the poor and the unions, and Republicans wrap themselves in the flag, hold a cross in one hand and an automatic weapon in the other, and take care of the rich while trying to convince the rednecks that the GOP is the only path to national salvation.

Nothing changes in American politics - ever! Well, sometimes one of the parties will come up with a rock star candidate - Raygun or Obama for example, but basically the same arguments drag on for generations with one party running things for a few years and then the public opinion pendulum swings back and the other party gets to have the power for awhile. It is so predictable, and progress seems to take forever.

That is why I was so shocked when I heard the news tonight. It was like I had an enormous mind fart and woke up on another planet. I blame the rotten Bush economy. It has shaken the bedrock of the established American political landscape and left things topsy-turvey.

I am getting ready to talk about the AIG bailout and the recent discovery that their executives - like those at Merrill Lynch (Bank of America) - got their bonuses at taxpayer expense even though they had proved themselves to be incompetent during the last year. I haven't written about AIG because to do so would have been pointless. The milk has been spilt and there has been little else in the news for the past few days. My two-cents worth would not have added anything significant to the brew.

But the story just keeps getting better and better, and now I can't help myself!

AIG was apparently able to pay the bonuses because of a legislative sleight-of-hand committed by Sen. Christopher Dodd, a Democrat from Connecticut and the son of a disgraced Connecticut Democratic Senator from another era. Dodd, when cornered, admitted that he had secretly taken a provision out of legislation that would have blocked the bonuses. He said that treasury officials had asked him to do it for the good of the country. And Dodd, btw, has received more cash from AIG that any other member of the U.S. Senate. (Look for lots more on that story in coming days.)

So, between Senator Dodd and Obama's Treasury Department, there were Democratic fingerprints all over the AIG bonuses. There was no way that the Republicans could lose on this issue - unless they were mortally stupid. But lose they did.

First of all, the Democrats got the jump on the issue with the President going on TV and railing about the awfulness of what had happened. His indignation was loud and it was righteous. Then, before Republicans could get their bearings, Congressional Democrats started thundering about how awful it all was. The Democrats in Congress came up with a plan to put a 90% tax on the bonuses, effectively returning the money to the U.S. Treasury.

The Republicans wanted to be indignant, too, because that's where the public was on the issue. But the Democrats had outflanked them. They knew that Republicans typically rally around the rich, and everyone knows how much Republicans hate taxes on the rich.

The House of Representatives voted on the 90% tax on the bonuses today. Democrats overwhelmingly voted for the measure (98%), but the Republicans inexplicably voted against it 87-85. What the hell were they thinking?

With today's vote in the House, the Republican party consigned itself to ignominy for the next decade. They could have easily blamed this sordid affair on the Democrats (with a fair amount of justification), but instead they chose to give up the moral high ground to protect a few rich slimeballs and a principle that isn't in sync with the country's views or needs.

The Republicans seem to be intent on committing political suicide. Democrats would be well served to sit on their hands, keep quiet, and let it happen.

Dear Ken (Again)

by Pa Rock
Taxpayer

Mr. Kenneth Lewis
CEO
Bank of America Corporation
100 North Tyron Street, 18th Floor
Charlotte, NC 28255

Dear Ken,

It has been exactly one month since my last letter, and I was hopeful that you would have used that time to smarten up, but, as this week's news demonstrates, that was wishful thinking on my part.

You were in New York a couple of days ago to speak to the state's attorney general, Andrew Cuomo, regarding the $3.6 billion in bonuses that Merrill Lynch doled out to its executives just hours before they were taken over by Bank of America. When that story first broke you prattled on about it happening before your watch and it was all beyond your control. But then when Mr. Cuomo asked for names and amounts this week, you stonewalled. That pesky little New York lawyer could go fuck himself. You are Bank of America, and, as such, you answer to no mortal.

But not only did you stick your thumb in Cuomo's eye, you also put that colored boy in the White House in his place. Yep, you sure did! When President Obama said earlier in the week that the days of bank executives flying around in corporate jets were over, he didn't count on coming across a bank executive with cajones the size of yours. You hopped right in that $50 million corporate jet to fly off to New York to put Cuomo and Obama in their places. Yes, you did!

Ken, you are one arrogant bastard - and about as concerned with public opinion as Marie Antoinette was when she sneered that the Paris rabble could eat cake if they had no bread. That uncaring bitch sneered all the way to the guillotine. These are mean times, Ken, and heads are going to roll. A modicum of tact might might lessen the impact of your impending fall.

Andrew Cuomo is going to lay a big, fat subpoena on your butt, Ken, and he is going to find out who at Merrill Lynch got how much bonus money - and he is going to publicize that information, much to your chagrin. But see, Ken, he has to publicize all of that information that you regard as personal. The bosses have a right to know how much their employees are being paid. The bosses, Ken, have that right. The bosses have a need to know how their business is operated and how their money is being spent. I am one of the bosses, Ken, one of over 300 million taxpayers who own a big chunk of your company - and I damn sure want to know!

And you know what else, Ken? I think that it's high time we started selling off that fleet of corporate jets. You need to experience life flying coach, in a middle seat, back close to the restrooms.

As long as you are operating on taxpayers' money, you work for us. And while I can't speak for all of your other bosses, I am very unimpressed with your job performance thus far. If you can't generate some sense of humanity in your plush boardroom, it may be time for us to jettison your flabby ass - without a golden parachute!

The bosses are watching, Ken. It's time to shape up or ship out!

Pa Rock
Goodyear, AZ

Dear Ken

by Pa Rock
Taxpayer

Mr. Kenneth Lewis
CEO
Bank of America Corporation
100 North Tryon St., 18th Floor
Charlotte, NC 28255

Dear Ken,

As one of the taxpayers who funded the corporate bailout that allowed your bank to purchase Merrill Lynch, I feel compelled to share some of my thoughts with you regarding the operation of Bank of America.

I noticed that just three days after receiving $25 billion in government largess, you allowed Bank of America to host a conference call with a group of sordid conservatives (people such as Bernie Marcus of Home Depot) to plot against pro-labor legislation - the Employee Free Choice Act (EFCA) - that will soon be taken up by the Congress. I can only assume from that misadventure that while Bank of America feeds off of the poor (excessive credit card finance rates, exorbitant overdraft fees, etc), your corporation feels a strong investment in ensuring that the poor remain poor. Shame on you and the corporate jet that you flew in on!

How many people did Bank of America lay off last month as it was absorbing Merrill Lynch - just before the holidays? I read one estimate that it was 35,000 - at a minimum. Merry Christmas, y'all - and the happiest of New Year's! How was your Christmas, Ken?

I haven't had the pleasure of reading your CV, but I'm guessing that you have an MBA from Harvard Business or some other Ivy League institution. How did someone as smart as you manage to let the price of your company's stock slip from a high of $45.00 a share less than a year ago to $6.50 at yesterday's close? Was the purchase of Countrywide, the mortgage lender that led the charge into the hole where we currently find ourselves, really necessary - or even smart? And Merrill Lynch - how dumb was that? The way it works at my house, Ken, is that I only buy things that I need and can afford. I don't even borrow to buy a car - pull up my file, Big Brother, and check it out.

Which brings me to the point of this letter. (Yes, I really do have a point!) Yesterday I received a letter from Bank of America offering to provide me with a loan of up to $30,000 to cover any credit card debt that I might have, or fund any nice-to-have things that I would like to buy. My rate on this friendly loan would be a minimum of 8.99 percent. (Not a bad rate when you consider that the Fed is currently loaning Bank of America money at almost zero percent!) Please note that I am going to pass on your amazing offer.

I just can't figure why I should help your rat-bastard bank when it is so anti-labor. You see, Ken, I am a wage earner - a laborer - and I could use any bone that Congress chooses to throw my way. I would certainly welcome the opportunity to join a union and be on a more solid footing with my employer. What I don't need is to be helping fund a financial octopus that is intent on keeping me relegated to the lower rungs of the social ladder.

It is my understanding that the Service Employees International Union (SEIU), one of the largest unions for public sector workers, has started a "fire Ken Lewis" campaign. I wish them Godspeed in their effort.

Enjoy your bailout billions, Ken. Me and many of your three hundred million other bosses will be zealously exercising our oversight role until you pay us back.

Most Sincerely.

Pa Rock
Goodyear, AZ

P.S. In the event that I plan a trip back to the Ozarks this spring, how are the chances of hitching a ride on one of our corporate jets?

Payback: It's a Bitch!

by Pa Rock
Chagrined Taxpayer

One good thing to come out of the government bailout of the banks is that suddenly there is some small degree of public accountability. A case in point is the $50 million swank corporate jet that Citigroup planned to purchase. The new acquisition by bailed-out Citigroup first came to the public’s attention yesterday, and the working stiffs of America were not amused! Not only was it seen as an extravagant and unnecessary elitist indulgence, the new jet was a product of France. France! The thieving hogs weren’t even supporting the ailing American economy!

In a bold move, the likes of which has not been seen in the White House in more than a decade (or two), the Obama administration made a simple telephone call to the Gods at Citigroup and told them that a change of plans was in order. Soon thereafter the chastised banking giant grudgingly announced that they would not be taking delivery of the luxury aircraft after all. Now that’s change that I can believe in!

Bank of America, which recently acquired Merrill Lynch thanks in large part to an influx of bailout billions, is also suffering some comeuppance as a result of accepting public money. John Thain, the now disgraced former head of Merrill Lynch, moved up the payments of executive bonuses when he realized that his company was on the verge of going under or being taken over. He and his executives got theirs while the getting was good! He also spent part of last year redecorating his office, all the while cutting thousands of jobs. The cost of that redecorating, which included such necessities as a $1,400 trashcan, eventually totaled 1.22 million dollars!

There has been no word yet as to whether the recently fired Mr. Thain received a call from the Obama administration or not, but he announced today that he will reimburse Merrill Lynch / Bank of America for the renovations to his office. And what about those early bonuses? New York’s attorney general, Andrew Cuomo, said that he will be investigating that matter. (It’s our money, and I, for one, would like to have it back!)

Yo, John, your subpoena is in the mail!

Greedheads beware! The time for payback draws nigh – and it’s gonna be a bitch!

More Soaking of the Poor

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

A regular reader wrote in today to mention another way that some banks stick it to the poor. It is a process called a minimum balance fee - a special charge that is imposed on your account if you fail to maintain a certain amount of money in your account. So the poor, who are often lucky to have any balance at all, get dinged with an extra fee if they can't maintain the necessary amount.

The particular bank that he was talking about was Bank of America, a money-grubbing monster that charges a monthly "maintenance fee" of $20 on any checking account that fails to maintain a $2,000 balance. An average family that struggles from paycheck to paycheck can just about plan on donating $240 to the gargantuan Bank of America every year. That makes for a very lucrative income stream that doesn't pose any burden on the bank's wealthier customers.

It sounds to me like Bank of America is redistributing the wealth - sending it from the poor to the rich!

And here's another example of wealth redistribution, straight from today's headlines. Exxon-Mobile reported its best quarterly profits ever - $14.5 billion! The poor use just as much gas as the rich to drive to work every day, and often more considering that their raggedy-assed vehicles seldom operate at maximum fuel efficiency. Why can't a good portion of that obscene profit be used to lower prices at the pump? Or why can't fuel taxes be reduced and replaced with a stiff and meaningful tax on the corporate profits of the oil companies? Why must the public pay taxes to support the Oil War when it is companies like Exxon-Mobile who will ultimately benefit from the fiasco in Iraq with new pipeline routes and easy access to Iraq's oil fields?

Are you poor and living in America? Take a number and bend over - someone will be on you shortly!