Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Republicans Suck at Geography

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

As a former geography teacher, I have found myself both amused and aghast at some of the geographic drivel being spouted by Donald John Trump and a couple of his more trusted lieutenants over the past few days.  Even graduates of private schools like the ones Betsy DeVos attended should be able to access Google and get their geographic facts straight before lacing them into their right-wing drivel.

Fox News, the propaganda arm of the Republican Party, got the week off to an auspicious start on Sunday when it displayed a graphic across the bottom of the screen which stated:

"Trump cuts aid to 3 Mexican countries."
Presumably those countries were El Salvador de Mexico, Honduras de Mexico, and Guatemala de Mexico.  The graphic stayed up thirty seconds - and toadies from Trump's favorite television show, "Fox and Friends," later apologized.  There is no word yet as to who clued them in on the error.

Yesterday White House Deputy Press Secretary Hogan Gidley (that's a real name!) was appearing on MSNBC and made the following statement in which he twice classified the U.S. Territory of Puerto Rico as a "country":

"With all we've done in that country, they've had a systematic mismanagement of the goods and services we've sent to them.  You've seen food just rotting in the ports.  The governor has done a horrible job.  He's trying to make political hay in a political year, and he's trying to find someone to take the blame off of him for not having a grid and not having a good system in that country at all."

Of course, it could also be just as easily argued that Donald Trump is using the situation in Puerto Rico to "make political hay in a political year."  But Trump did his part by showing up, albeit late and very briefly, and tossing rolls of paper towels to the storm-ravaged American citizens of Puerto Rico.

(Who knew that Press Secretary Sarah Huckleberry Sanders did enough work to warrant a deputy?)

And finally our extra-large Orange Julius himself (Donald Trump) got into the geography maelstrom yesterday while speaking at a press conference with the Secretary General of NATO.   Trump, who is often critical of other nations not paying what he considers to be their fair share for NATO upkeep - a position of disunity that undoubtedly pleases Russia - was being especially critical of Germany and its leader, Angela Merkel.   Trump said:

"I have a great respect for Angela, and I have a great respect for the country.  My father is German, was German, born in a wonderful place in Germany.   I have a very great feel for Germany."

History teaches us that Fred Trump, Donald's racist, slumlord father, was born in the Bronx, New York, in 1905 - and geography teaches us that New York is not, and never has been, a part of Germany!

Interestingly, that was not the first time that Donald Turmp, who seems to drift in and out of alternate universes, has claimed that his father was born in Germany.  Trump's paternal grandfather actually was German.  Perhaps Herr Donald is just getting caught up in some of Stephen Miller's Third Reich fantasies.

Here's an idea that might benefit Donald Trump and would certainly benefit many of our fellow Americans.  Maybe he should resign and begin working earnestly on his genealogy - like so many of his fellow old farts are doing.  And after digging through the dung on his family history, if he didn't find any royalty or famous historical figures dangling from the branches, he could always lie about his findings.  He is Donald Trump, after all!

And lying is what he does best!

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