Saturday, September 21, 2013

Things to Do at the DMV

by Pa Rock
Arizona Tour Guide

Tim, Erin, and Baby Olive arrived in Phoenix late yesterday afternoon - just in time for the rush hour commute across the Valley of Hell.  We had a nice dinner out, and then got up very early this morning and headed north.  Our first stop was in the beautiful tourist town of Sedona.  We walked the streets and had a nice lunch there.  We had then planned to get rooms in Flagstaff for the night and go on to the Grand  Canyon in the morning - but we were getting around so well that we decided to go on and do the Grand Canyon this afternoon instead.  The weather was cool and the Canyon was beautiful - as it always is.

Something nice happened as we were entering the park.  The standard fee is $25 for a carload - per visit.  The lady asked if we had any active duty military in the car or anyone over the age of sixty-two.  I raised my hand to the last item, and she issued me a lifetime pass to the National Park System for just ten dollars.  It covered everyone in the car and will cover the hangers-on during any future visits to a national park.  That was a great deal.  Of course, prior to George Bush launching his Forever War, admission to many of the parks was free.

So, to all of my old fart friends, the next time you visit a national park, admit your age and get the lifetime pass.  BTW, you will be carded to substantiate your advanced years.  George Washington didn't raise any fools!

Just after entering the park we came upon several cars stopped in the middle of the road.  They were looking at a herd of elk scattered among the pines.  The first one we saw must have been the boss elk, because he had a set of antlers that were at least three-feet tall!   Years ago our family spent a day driving through Yellowstone Park, and all we saw then were a few scraggly old mule deer.

As we were walking along the south rim of the Canyon, a group of three young adults, two women and a man, walked up behind me.  They were talking about unusual places to have sex.  One of the girls mentioned having sex in line at the DMV.  I couldn't tell whether she was relating a real-life adventure, offering a dare, or just fantasizing, but regardless, it struck me as a really creative use of time.

Sorry about getting back late from lunch, boss.  I was stuck in line at the DMV.

But I digress.

And now we are on the road to Phoenix, one never traveled by Hope, Crosby, and Lamour.

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