Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Bigfoot Blimp

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

It’s a bird!  It’s a plane!  It’s a bear in the air!

Or maybe it’s the “bigfoot blimp” being floated by Idaho State University professor Jeffrey Meldrum.

Meldrum, a professor of anatomy and anthropology, published a book related to his work and his interest in the legend of a bigfoot creature roaming around the Pacific Northwest.  The work was entitled “Sasquatch:  Legend Meets Science.”  Now the erstwhile academician is out trying to fan the flames of interest in his “science” by launching an expedition to find the elusive bigfoot (or sasquatch, or yeti). 

There have been reports of sightings (often proven hoaxes) of bigfoot creatures or their tracks throughout the Pacific Northwest and even down into Oklahoma over the past several decades, but so far there has been little in the way of credible proof – bigfoot remains, for instance.  Many of the believers propose that bigfoot is a large Asiatic ape that migrated to the Americas across the Bering Strait thousands of years ago when the first Asian humans also crossed,  but an actual fossil or artifact trail of the bigfoot migration has yet to be discovered.

But still the believers persist.

Professor Meldrum has put forth the idea of looking for bigfoot with a remote-controlled blimp equipped with infra-red cameras that could conceivably locate the creature (or creatures) through readings of body heat.  The blimp will cost around $300,000, all paid for with donations that have yet to start arriving.   Idaho State University, which has approved this “research project,” is apparently hesitant to pump any school funds into the endeavor – but  a couple of television reality shows are looking at possibly sponsoring the project.

So let's assume the professor is successful in raising the money and building his blimp.  Then what?  

There is an issue of safety for the blimp.  Will a state that is home to a plethora of survivalists, secret gardeners, and citizen militias trust that a big balloon floating overhead loaded with high tech cameras is really just looking for bigfoot?    The target value of that eye-in-the-sky would be well nigh irresistible!

If the blimp stays afloat and the professor does find his creature, or more likely, a clan of the creatures, will they be safe in the backwoods of Idaho?  How long before bigfoot heads begin to be displayed on the walls of double-wide trailers of beer-belching rednecks?    Yes, laws might be enacted to save these critters – even in Idaho – but there are certain groups of people who feel that laws are impediments to man’s natural freedom and are best ignored.  They have their rights, and they have their guns!

Bigfoot, if you're reading this, get your hairy butt across the border into Canada.  Stay safe, brother!

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