Friday, December 18, 2009

Ship of Secrets

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

I am learning so much on this trip, and not all of it was listed on the itinerary!

For instance, I now know, for a fact, that the good ship Eurodam blocks Internet and telephone signals so that passengers are forced to use their expensive services. One of the young ladies working in the ship's Internet Cafe let that bit of knowledge slip a few days ago, and I confirmed it last night with another crew member. Capitalist swine!

I also mentioned that the ship was really rocking and rolling the first two days that we were at sea. Turns out, according to the scuttlebutt (a naval term), that it had nothing to do with the conditions of the sea or the weather, for indeed the sea was relatively calm and the weather pleasant, but the rolling motion was due to the ship's stabilizers malfunctioning. Apparently they were repaired in Puerto Rico. But yesterday, his holiness, The Captain, had the gall to make a public apology over the loudspeaker system for the rough seas on the first two days of the voyage. Lying bastard!

Our crew is wonderful, so polite and courteous, and always willing to put forth the extra effort to honor any goofy tourist request. Unfortunately, not all of the tourists remembered to pack their good manners for the trip. Today on Half Moon Cay (Holland America's private island in the Bahamas) I listened in open disgust as a shrewish little woman unloaded on a waiter because she wanted two glasses of water, and he had given one of hers to somebody else. Pa Rock kept it under control and didn't slap the bitch, but I did step directly up to her and say in a loud, clear voice that she was behaving very rudely. The glare that she turned on me said just as clearly that no one had ever spoken to her that way before. Her husband pushed her on out of the way before she could take a swing at me. He appeared to have had plenty of practice in saving her flabby ass!

A good portion of our crew is from Indonesia. They work eleven hours a day for ten months and then get two months off. They work hard and maintain a pleasant outlook and demeanor. Most of the Indonesians are also Muslims. A dinner companion and I talked to a couple the other night about their religion, and learned that although there is no mosque on ship, they do have a designated place of prayer and worship. My gut feeling is that it would behoove the whiny and privileged little old biddies to keep their vitriol in check - or else we could have the makings of a Tom Clancy novel!

Our boat still floats, but will dock at Ft. Lauderdale tomorrow morning.


Tim Macy said...

I think that's wonderful that you stepped in for the cruise liner proletariat. Many times I have thought of jumping in myself with a witty barb re: some shitty behavior like that but held my tongue. Maybe next time I won't. (So let it be on your head when the crazy lady's husband doesn't push her on down the road but chooses instead to tenderize my skull.)

Mike Box said...

Eurodam is a ship of the Holland America line with corporate headquarters in Seattle, Washington. They are subject to American jurisdiction, laws of the United States, whether they are sailing in American, American territorial, international waters, or the seas of other nations.

You may want to consult with a law firm with proven expertise in anti-trust litigation, law of the sea, and class action litigation.

Your blog just demonstrated that Holland America is engaged in a certain prohibited practice called restraint of trade. As I recall the penalty for this violation is treble damages.