I'll Never Be as Smart as My Phone

by Pa Rock

Anachronism

One of the major learnings that I acquired during the recent Macy family road trip to North Carolina was how woefully out-of-touch I am with modern technology - and particularly with the many uses of "smart" phones.  There were four adults in the car, each of whom had a smart phone on their person.  

My daughter used hers to stay in contact with her three children and husband who were back home in Oregon, and her kids were basically right in the car with us through Skype or Zoom or whatever the current term is that covers video calls.  There was no drama playing out back in Oregon to which Molly - and the rest of us - were not a party.  

Erin, my daughter-in-law, was often on her phone trying to arrange the evening's accommodations.  She used the phone's internet access to locate possible places to stay, and then called ahead to negotiate reservations.  Tim, our driver, would use his phone to show drive-through personnel various coupons and discounts to save us money on road meals.

And my smart phone wisely stayed in my pocket where it wouldn't interfere with the others that were getting things done!

Then there was the Sunday night in Tupelo when all of us - and some others - were gathered in the stairwell of a Red Roof Inn trying to stay safe from a massive tornado that was reportedly headed our way.  Everyone (except me, of course) had their cell phones out and were working some angle regarding the storm.  Some were tuned to the National Weather Center for updates, at least one was following a Tupelo television weather forecaster, Molly was on the phone with her husband in Oregon getting updates on the Mississippi storm from him - and everyone was swapping information in real time.  There was probably more technological power emanating from that stairwell than NASA had on the day that Alan Shepard became the first American to rocket into space!

So, as a recent graduate of Road Trip U, I was beginning to realize just how woefully ignorant I am when it comes to smart phones - and I resolved to begin correcting that situation.

I use an iPhone, which is an Apple product.  My computer is a MacBook Air, which is also an Apple product.  I made my first purchase of both at an Apple Store in Phoenix shortly after returning from two years on Okinawa in 2012.    At that time I resolved to learn as much as I could about both devices.  I signed up for a beginner's course for the iPhone that the Apple Store provided free-of-charge, but the experience quickly became a bust when the teacher allowed a blue-haired harpy who was sitting directly in front of him to take over and derail the presentation.  She was there to learn how to use the camera and store her photos, and she would not tolerate any other topics being discussed.  I left disappointed and decided that I would make it a point to learn on my own - something I never did.

But now I am ready and fired up again.  Should I buy a book - something like an "iPhone for Dummies," or try to find a YouTube video that would explain things?

Up until now I have used my phone for basically two things:  making (or answering) phone calls, and checking my email.  I have on very rare occasions strayed onto the internet with my phone, but usually I can't remember how to do that.  I also will occasionally take a picture with my phone, and then it takes about half-a-day to figure out how to get the picture off of the phone and onto my computer so that I can share it.  Once or twice I have even figured out how to share photos with the phone, but those are rare days that usually only happen near Blue Moons that occur during Leap Years.

This week my phone suddenly quit letting me check my email, and I don't have many friends, so making - and receiving - calls has never put much strain on the device.    Yesterday I went to the local Verizon Store where I had purchased my latest iteration of the iPhone.  If I understood the lady there correctly, Apple has screwed me over by sending out an update that killed my ability to pull up email, and then they had sent out a "fix" to that, but the fix required that I access the Cloud.  So since I don't believe in passwords, she set up new ones for me, accessed the Cloud (whatever the hell that is), and fixed the problem.

My new friend was very nice, and while she worked I brought up the topic of classes for the iPhone.  She said that other people have asked her the same question, but that there are no local classes on how to use an iPhone.  (Welcome to West Plains, Missouri!)  I have a discount phone plan that occasionally sends me threats that saying I am running out of time, or room, or service, or something - so I asked about an "unlimited" plan.  She told me that I could go from sporadic harassment to using as much of whatever it is that Verizon sells for just five extra dollars a month.  And because the lady was so nice, I eventually had her sign me up.   Now, if I knew what I was doing, I could create as much havoc with my iPhone as any thirteen-year-old!

But, of course, I do not know what I am doing.

The lady at the Verizon Store told me that with the new plan I could now download and watch movies - on my phone!  (Like that's a real thing!)   But I am smart enough to know that my iPhone has a lot of untapped potential - and I would like to learn and master some of what it can do to make my life better - or at least a little more interesting.

Today I am going to work on figuring out how to download an "Ap."   That's one thing I learned at Road Trip U - Aps can save you money!

(I will close today's Ramble with a funny - and true - story.  Years ago when I was working in State Child Protection, our agency shared an office with State Welfare.  An old man came to the window one day and asked to see a certain welfare worker - who was busy taking an application for benefits.  The secretary told the old man at the window that the worker he had requested couldn't help him right at that moment because he was "taking an ap."  And the fellow went home and called the governor.  The governor's office phoned later and asked if all state employees in our county office took naps during the work day, or just the one guy.)