At Least Wayne LaPierre Dresses Well

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

I don't own a gun, I'm fairly well educated (at least by local standards), and I haven't been a member of a fascist organization since I was in the Boy Scouts more than sixty years ago, so I was a bit disappointed when I received an information packet from the National Rifle Association earlier this week urging me to join their ranks of nearly five million members.  I'm not sure how they came up with my name and address - perhaps someone down at the courthouse supplied my information as a joke - but I am glad that they spent their bulk-rate postage and the cost of their printed materials on me, because that represents money (perhaps as much as twenty or thirty cents) that can no longer be used to subvert democracy.  

Also, I will be mailing their self-addressed, postage-paid returne envelope back to them - empty, of course - so that will be a few more cents out of the NRA coffers.

The main letter in the packet of information was signed by the organization's "Executive Vice President," Wayne LaPierre.  Wayne told me in his letter that he would let me join his group for just $30 for the first year,  $15 savings over the regular price of $45 per annum.  And if I wanted to join for multiple years I could save even more:  $75 for three years (normally $100), and $100 for five years (normally $150).

Then, in a little slick one page brochure, LaPierre assured me that I would get back more than I paid in dues.  First, I would have my choice of a subscription of one of four NRA membership magazines, special savings from member partners, free admission to the the NRA's Guns, Gear, and Outfitter Show, and MORE!  

MORE!  Wow!  Imagine that!

(The NRA gets considerable funding from members, but its majority income is from gun manufacturers because that is primarily who the organization supports.)

Wayne LaPierre's packet of information failed to mention that the NRA has been having some financial and internal political difficulties as of late - including the ouster of Oliver North as its president less than two years ago.  The group, which was chartered in New York state a century-and-a-half ago is trying to change its state of residence to the gun-friendlier state of Texas in order to avoid legal troubles in New York.  New York Attorney General Letitia James is in court trying to shut the NRA down amid claims of mismanagement and corruption.  She is also seeking to collect tens of millions of dollars in misspent funds from Wayne LaPierre and three other leaders.

The NRA, through LaPierre, has filed for bankruptcy in Texas in order to keep New York from collecting in its lawsuit.

And meanwhile, it still costs a lot to buy American politicians and insure that they stay bought.  One estimate that I read recently said that the NRA has spent over $88 million protecting and promoting current members of Congress - and those would generally be the gun-addled Republicans.

So I guess that is why Wayne is so anxious to get my $45!

But, say what you will about Wayne LaPierre, the man has run the National Rifle Association for the past three decades and has now almost run it into the ground.   But for all of his faults, LaPierre still manages to live well.  As the New York investigations and court case have been revealing, LaPierre and his family are wined, dined, and vacationed in style, and the man himself dresses in a manner befitting royalty (or a television evangelical minister).  The court case in New York revealed that between 2004 and 2017 LaPierre spent 274,695.03 on Zegna clothing - including two shopping sprees to that brand's Beverly Hills store where he spent around $40,000 each visit!

Critics may regard Wayne LaPierre as an obnoxious little pissant, but he is a very well dressed obnoxious little pissant!

Thanks for the invitation to join your fascist organization, Wayne - but I think I will send $45 to "Moms Demand Action for Gunsense in America" instead to help them clean up the trail of bloodshed and violence that your group has inflicted on America.

Please feel free to write to me anytime, and be sure to include that self-addressed, postage-paid envelope.

Our post office needs your business!