Geezers on Patrol (or Grandma Unchained!)

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Old people in Arizona are about as common (and bothersome) as sand fleas, but not nearly as useful.  They putt around in their golf carts while complaining endlessly about everything that has changed in America since Reagan left office.   They are by-and-large right-wingers (this writer is an exception) who eagerly support all of the state’s racist legislation, and treat our eighty-year-old shurf, Joe Arpaio, like some sort of flabby rock star.  And old Joe takes full advantage of their blind loyalty because, unlike the sand fleas, these desert pests vote.

Arpaio has enrolled many of Arizona’s shaky seniors into an organization that he refers to as his “posse,” a group of lightly trained retirees and cop-wannabes who are armed with their own weapons and get to carry an official posse I.D., much like the one I had nearly sixty years ago when I was a “Bar-12 Ranger” (a fan club out of Joplin, Missouri, that paid homage to local television personality, Ranger Ed Wilson).   

Joe Arpaio announced a couple of weeks ago that he was going to protect schools in Maricopa County, whether they wanted to be protected or not, by having members of his civilian posse patrol around the schools.  Apparently those patrols started today.  Geriatric Joe has yet to notify the public as to which schools are being monitored by these armed patrols, but he has indicated that it will release a list naming those schools at a news conference tomorrow.

Our shurf loves his news conferences.

(Sadly, he didn't have a news conference when it was discovered that his department failed to investigate a couple of hundred sex crimes in the city of El Mirage, many involving child victims.)