Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Would You Like Whipped Cream and a Cherry on that Heart Attack?

by Pa Rock
Consumer of Food

I guess that I must have some unresolved issues with bacon.   I like bacon when it is in its proper place - such as next to a couple of beautiful eggs-over-easy with a side of wheat toast, or between two slices of whole grain bread nestled against some farm fresh-lettuce and a couple of slices of tomato.  But there are certain places that bacon does not belong, and the list of those offensive menu items appears to be growing.

First off, bacon does not belong on burgers.  There is just something morally reprehensible about mixing species on the same bun.  When Valerie and I were in Guam a couple of weeks ago, we were sitting out by the pool at the Hilton one evening and I ordered a cheeseburger.  When the small, over-priced burger arrived, I was aghast to find that it contained bacon - a fact that was not in evidence on the menu.   As I concluded my righteous tirade about mixing species, she grinned and said that I had ordered the same burger when we were there over Thanksgiving - and I had pitched the same fit then as well.

Call it a reoccurring senior moment.

The following night I decided to play it safe.  I tried to order a grilled cheese sandwich, but was told that the kitchen staff did not make grilled cheese.  For a few dollars more, however, they would make a grilled ham and cheese.  Thirty minutes later when the sandwich arrived and I bit into it, I discovered that it was a grilled ham and cheese with bacon!  The chef was obviously of the belief that everything is better with bacon.

And unfortunately for our national waistline, way too many people seem to hold that same belief.

Today I ran across an article on the Internet that said that Burger King is trying to spice up its menu with some new speciality items - one of which is a bacon ice cream sundae.  Somebody alert Michelle Obama and Mayor Bloomberg, because I am as serious as a heart attack!  Burger King is currently featuring a sundae made with vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce and caramel topping, and a strip of bacon in at least one of its Nashville locations.

Look for this cholesterol bomb coming soon to a Burger King near you!

But if your desire to fatally clog your arteries is so great that you can't wait, you might want to check out two other national food chains.  Denny's reportedly introduced a bacon maple sundae last year, and Jack in the Box has been offering a bacon milkshake.

People, if we are eating like that, we are out of control and we deserve to be waddling around like a  flock of French geese waiting to be relieved of their fat livers!

Listen  to this old, diabetic fat man.  I am your future, and I am not pretty!

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