Monday, March 26, 2012

Monday's Poetry: "Anger Management in the McDonald's Drive Through"

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

One of the roles that I have played at each of the four military bases where I have worked over the past few years is that of being a facilitator for the Men's Anger Management Group.  Today I ran across the poem, "Anger Management in the McDonald's Drive Through" by Leon Jane and felt that it accurately portrayed bits and pieces of individual stories that I have heard in the anger groups over the years.

The writer of this piece, Leon Jane, issued the following statement with his work:

I made this poem up as it isn't based on anything that I have done in a drive through. I guess I dedicate this poem to all the hard workers in our fast food industries who have to endure the likes of customers who think that they deserve a little more attention and privileges than any other person. 

I second his sentiments.  Always be nice to the crew kids, even when they screw up your order.  Being angry negatively impacts our health, makes us look like  losers, is often directed at the wrong person, and seldom changes anything.   Whenever we are being served fast food, "thank you" is the appropriate response - whether it was what we ordered or not.  Remember, none of it is healthy anyway!

Anger Management in the McDonald's Drive Through
by Leon Jane

I'll crack your head with my fists of steel!
All I damn well wanted was a Quarter Pounder meal.
Instead I get this crazy dish,
who the heck thought of the Fillet-o-Fish?
I'll rip that speaker box off its mount.
Who said this was food? It doesn't count.
Now Ive got a square fillet swimming in tartar,
all I wanted was beef, what do they care?
Send out that ridiculous clown, I'll clean up his cheesy grin,
with a swift knuckle sandwich to his plastic chin.
Give me a burger with a shake and fries
Don't be giving me "you'll have to wait" lies.
I'll back my truck up to your drive through garden,
to get my dollars worth, if I am begging your pardon.
I'll dig out your plants and take them for free
they'll be better than the useless napkins that you're giving me.
I'll empty my garbage, from my cars foot pan,
come on you pimply manager, give me a hand.
Bring me your McAttitude on your minimum wage,
I'll give you life advice from my derelict age.
No need to call the police, nothing is alarming,
now my anger subsides with a sense of calming.
All I needed was a sugar hit to send me home,
nothing like a chocolate drizzled soft serve cone!

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