Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Finally, a Palin Book that I Might Actually Buy!

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Levi Johnston. the former Crown Prince of Alaska, is out with a new book, a reported "tell-all" about his former almost-in-laws, the Palin's.  He said, quite modestly, that he penned this blockbuster wannabe "for me, my boy Tripp, and the country."

Well, Levi, speaking for myself alone, I thank you.  Carnival grifters have been a lifetime fascination mine.  I await your expose with baited breath!

Of course, Levi, you are as much a grifter as your Baby Mama, Bristol, and the great Sarah herself.  You have sold photos of your hockey-toned body to Playgirl Magazine while deftly  managing to keep your business asset hidden behind a ball glove.  (Didn't Sarah look down her beak and refer to that as "porn?")  Something tells me she probably has a more in-depth knowledge of pornography than she lets on.  Heck, maybe your book will address her and Todd's bedroom reading - hope so!

Bristol used her relationship to the freak show to manage a gig on Dancing with the Stars, and, of course, she has made more than a few dollars peddling the virtues of virginity.  Now she is even writing books.  (Those Alaska schools must be awfully damned awesome to produce so many young authors!)

And then, or course, there's the Mama Grizzly herself who has now officially written more books than she has read.  Sarah (or her designated typist) is writing for people who can't read, speaking to people who can't think, skillfully inciting masses of asses to unmitigated rudness, and doing it all while traveling first class and making big, obscene fees.  (Barnum said it best:   "There's a sucker born every minute.")  Sarah figured out really quickly where the money was at - and it wasn't in frittering away her time as Governor of Alaska.

So now you're an author.  I love the title of your book:  Deer in the Headlights:  My Life in Sarah  Palin's Crosshairs.  Crosshairs!  Ouch, that's gotta hurt!  Obviously your ghostwriter is much funnier than Sarah's!  I plan to buy a copy and then send it to you for an autograph - if that is alright with you - because I suspect that your book will be the cultural high-water mark of the Palin phenomenon.

I actually did buy one other book about Sarah Palin.  It was Going Rouge by the writers of The Nation Magazine.  Funny, funny stuff - and it threw the Fox noise machine into a tailspin as it tried to explain to people that Going Rouge wasn't actually Sarah's book - Going Rogue!    But, as Barnum said...

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