Thursday, April 29, 2010

Brewer Tries to Smile Through the Apocalypse

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

I would like to move on and write about something else, I really would - but the Arizona circus spinning around Senate Bill 1070, the "papers please" law, is growing at such an astounding rate that it threatens to eclipse all of the other craziness for which Arizona is so famous. It's like all of a sudden the world has discovered our attic full of crazy relatives!

Colombian pop star Shakira is in the Valley of Hell tonight. She tried to meet with Governor Brewer this afternoon, but our guv declined. Phil Gordon, the mayor of Phoenix, will meet with Shakira tomorrow regarding their shared disgust with Arizona's goofy new legislation. Diplomacy - Arizona style!

(Actually, the word "goofy" describes most Arizona legislation, so please know that I am still discussing the "papers please" bill, and not the no-permit-needed-to-carry-a-concealed-weapon bill, or the birther bill.)

Linda Ronstadt will be back in Phoenix tomorrow to make some noise about the state legislature's draconian and racist SB 1070. (Just a couple of months ago she was here marching in opposition to our resident boogie man and town clown, Sheriff Joe Arpaio - tempus fugit!) Also coming to town tomorrow with our southwestern nightingale will be Delores Huerta, a co-founder Cesar Chavez's United Farm Workers. (I had the pleasure of meeting the venerable Ms. Huerta, now in her eighties, on a social worker/feminist cruise a couple of years ago.)

Si se puede, Delores!

But Ronstadt and Huerta and Shakira are just a small part of the sound and the fury that are blasting through the desert like a mariachi band on steroids. One of the "Latin Kings of Comedy," Paul Rodriguez, has cancelled his show at a local casino next month. The comedian and activist is opposed to our new law and said that he does not want to come to a place where he has to carry his citizenship papers with him. Arizonans have responded in true shit-kicker fashion by calling in anonymous death threats to Mr. Rodriguez. (How would our baggers be able to communicate without telephones and misspelled signs?)

(I heard this morning that wealthy white people driving nice cars will not have to carry proof of residency, but they do need to be prepared to recite the codes to their gated communities if asked!)

People are starting to protest at Arizona Diamond Backs away games. There will be an anti-Arizona rally in Los Angeles this weekend that is anticipated to draw upwards of a hundred thousand people. The cities of Los Angeles, San Francisco, and St. Paul are officially cutting economic ties with Arizona, and Denver Public Schools announced a ban on all work-related travel to Arizona.

And then there's Joe. Our sheriff lives to be the center of attention and is undoubtedly feeling neglected by all of the interest being directed at the Arizona legislature and our daft governor. Old Joe announced today that he will hold his fifteenth crime sweep in Maricopa County tomorrow. Joe's sweeps are notorious for wasting massive police resources, tying up traffic for hours on end, and arresting dozens of cooks, maids, and day laborers. But Joe knows that a good crime sweep will serve to refocus the press on what's really important in Arizona - him!

Jan Brewer, unlike Arpaio, is not so adept at handling all of this public noise. It is almost like all of the fuss is a big surprise to her. She is tired and haggard and has not been under this much constant stress since the house fell on her sister!

Si se puede, amigos, si se puede!

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