Friday, May 1, 2009

Water-Boarding for Jesus

by Pa Rock

A new survey reveals something surprising about the thought processes of the highly self-righteous. (Well, it isn't really a surprise - just more of an illumination of hypocrisy.) Survey says: The more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support the torture of suspected terrorists.

Religion has a long history of justifying war - and bigotry - and hate, and devout Christians in particular go through all kinds of mental contortions as they try to find ways to overlook, ignore, or misinterpret the humanist themes in the Bible and the teachings of Jesus. Surely the man from Galilee didn't really mean to suggest that there is something wrong in the accumulation of wealth. (After all, is it not true that he with the gold, rules?) And of course we should all love our neighbors, unless, of course, some of our neighbors happen to be Muslim, or gay, or Mexican, or Black, or Jews, or feminists, or Democrats. Jesus wasn't really speaking about being nice to those folks, was he?

If God didn't want us to be vigilant and protect our homes, our way of life, and our racial purity, why did he bless us with guns? Our God, love him and fear him, is every bit as small-minded and hateful as we are - so it makes perfect sense that he supports the torture of lesser human beings who may be out to get us.

Jesus was about love, and so is war. It is our Christian imperative to make others see the benefits of a life in Christ whether they are open to the idea or not. Besides, it's not really torture, it's just enhanced interrogation techniques - just as water-boarding is nothing more than an enhanced baptism.

God bless America. Let us prey.


xobekim said...

My friend from the Radical Religious Wrong compares waterboarding to Baptism.

He sees it as an enhanced conversion technique. Praise God!

Phillipia said...

If we don't convert them how will they ever get into our heaven? :)