Friday, January 2, 2009

2009 Dead Pool Entries

by Pa Rock
Pool Shark

Pa Rock’s Dead Pool is growing. When this contest originated last year, we were only able to garner five entrants, and most of those were relatives! This year fourteen individuals entered, several of whom are complete strangers to this humble typist.

If the premonitions of our Dead Pool entrants are any indicator, Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson need to start getting their affairs in order. Winehouse and Jackson were each named by six individuals as likely not to survive the year. Following closely behind were Barack Obama and Elizabeth Taylor who were named by five people each, and Kirk Douglas who was named by four.

(Note to the Secret Service: Stand down, guys. This is a guessing game only. No one is posing any threat to the President-Elect, nor is anyone posing threats to Betty Ford and Nancy Reagan who were named on three lists each, or Jimmy Carter and George H.W. Bush whose names were on two lists each. Entrants made their predictions based on many factors, and were not generating hit lists. It’s all been done in fun!)

The entrants and their entries are listed below. Please let me know if you hear of any of the selectees expiring during 2009:

Alvin: Hamid Karzai, Harry Morgan, Steve Jobs, J.D. Salinger, Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Elizabeth Taylor, Jimmy Carter, Kirk Douglas, and Seve Ballesteros.

Bobby: Barack Obama, Charlie Sheen, Garth Brooks, Benny Hinn, Macaulay Culkin, Marilyn Manson, Willie Nelson, B.B. King, Wishbone the Dog, and Michael Jackson.

Camille: Gary Coleman, Boy George, Amy Winehouse, Barack Obama, Owen Wilson, Bob Barker, Bob Newhart, Macaulay Culkin, Ed McMahon, and Jackie Chan.

Eva: Amy Winehouse, Elizabeth Taylor, Kirk Douglas, George H.W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip, Betty Ford, Farah Fawcett, and George Strait.

Iva: Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Andy Dick, Steven Adler, Jeff Conaway, Brandon Davis, Howard K. Stern (attorney), Barack Obama, Osama bin Laden, and Elizabeth Taylor.

Mary: Michael Jackson, Barack Obama, John Grisham, Joe Cocker, Queen Elizabeth, Tim Allen, Macaulay Culkin, Britney Spears, Betty White, and Jack Nicholson.

Mike: Walter Mondale, Ralph Hall, Robby Gordon, Zig Ziglar, Plaxico Burress, Henry Kissinger, John Watson, Hamid Karzai, Barbara Billingsley, and Maya Angelou.

Molly: Jeff Conaway, Amy Winehouse, Seth (Shifty) Binzer, Billy Graham, Robert Downey, Jr., Michael Jackson, Andy Dick, Danny Bonaduce, Ruben Studdard, and Dick Clark.

Nick: Richard Dreyfuss, Jude Law, Barack Obama, Morgan Freeman, Dennis Hopper, Gene Wilder, Amy Winehouse, Boy George, Sean Penn, and Kevin James.

Pa Rock: Prince Philip, Woody Harrelson, Betty Ford, Rudy Giuliani, Jack Lelane, Antonin Scalia, Angela Lansbury, Britney Spears, Bob Dylan, and Phyllis Diller.

Pat: Osama bin Laden, Elizabeth Taylor, Michael Jackson, Nancy Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth, Kirk Douglas, Keith Richards, Ted Kennedy, and Robert Mugabe.

Ron: Hugh Hefner, Mahmoud Ahmadknejad, Keith Richards, George Steinbrunner, Sparky Anderson, Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor, Cloris Leachman, Delores Hope, and Kirk Douglas.

Scott: John Glenn, Axl Rose, Betty Ford, Al Davis, John Goodman, Kelsey Grammar, Clint Eastwood, Ozzy Osborne, Pope Benedict XVI, and Nancy Reagan.

Tim: John Travolta, Betty White, Woody Allen, John McCain, Barry Bonds, Nancy Reagan, William Shatner, Chevy Chase, Dr. Phil McGraw, and Carrot Top.

As you will notice, I submitted an entry myself – trying to save myself the cost of one of the prizes! I used the same names that I selected last year, and replaced Eartha Kitt (the one who actually did die) with Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

Good luck – and let me know if you see any of the folks listed above in the obituaries!

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