2009 Dead Pool Entries

by Pa Rock
Pool Shark

Pa Rock’s Dead Pool is growing. When this contest originated last year, we were only able to garner five entrants, and most of those were relatives! This year fourteen individuals entered, several of whom are complete strangers to this humble typist.

If the premonitions of our Dead Pool entrants are any indicator, Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson need to start getting their affairs in order. Winehouse and Jackson were each named by six individuals as likely not to survive the year. Following closely behind were Barack Obama and Elizabeth Taylor who were named by five people each, and Kirk Douglas who was named by four.

(Note to the Secret Service: Stand down, guys. This is a guessing game only. No one is posing any threat to the President-Elect, nor is anyone posing threats to Betty Ford and Nancy Reagan who were named on three lists each, or Jimmy Carter and George H.W. Bush whose names were on two lists each. Entrants made their predictions based on many factors, and were not generating hit lists. It’s all been done in fun!)

The entrants and their entries are listed below. Please let me know if you hear of any of the selectees expiring during 2009: pa.rock.macy@gmail.com

Alvin: Hamid Karzai, Harry Morgan, Steve Jobs, J.D. Salinger, Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Elizabeth Taylor, Jimmy Carter, Kirk Douglas, and Seve Ballesteros.

Bobby: Barack Obama, Charlie Sheen, Garth Brooks, Benny Hinn, Macaulay Culkin, Marilyn Manson, Willie Nelson, B.B. King, Wishbone the Dog, and Michael Jackson.

Camille: Gary Coleman, Boy George, Amy Winehouse, Barack Obama, Owen Wilson, Bob Barker, Bob Newhart, Macaulay Culkin, Ed McMahon, and Jackie Chan.

Eva: Amy Winehouse, Elizabeth Taylor, Kirk Douglas, George H.W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip, Betty Ford, Farah Fawcett, and George Strait.

Iva: Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Andy Dick, Steven Adler, Jeff Conaway, Brandon Davis, Howard K. Stern (attorney), Barack Obama, Osama bin Laden, and Elizabeth Taylor.

Mary: Michael Jackson, Barack Obama, John Grisham, Joe Cocker, Queen Elizabeth, Tim Allen, Macaulay Culkin, Britney Spears, Betty White, and Jack Nicholson.

Mike: Walter Mondale, Ralph Hall, Robby Gordon, Zig Ziglar, Plaxico Burress, Henry Kissinger, John Watson, Hamid Karzai, Barbara Billingsley, and Maya Angelou.

Molly: Jeff Conaway, Amy Winehouse, Seth (Shifty) Binzer, Billy Graham, Robert Downey, Jr., Michael Jackson, Andy Dick, Danny Bonaduce, Ruben Studdard, and Dick Clark.

Nick: Richard Dreyfuss, Jude Law, Barack Obama, Morgan Freeman, Dennis Hopper, Gene Wilder, Amy Winehouse, Boy George, Sean Penn, and Kevin James.

Pa Rock: Prince Philip, Woody Harrelson, Betty Ford, Rudy Giuliani, Jack Lelane, Antonin Scalia, Angela Lansbury, Britney Spears, Bob Dylan, and Phyllis Diller.

Pat: Osama bin Laden, Elizabeth Taylor, Michael Jackson, Nancy Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth, Kirk Douglas, Keith Richards, Ted Kennedy, and Robert Mugabe.

Ron: Hugh Hefner, Mahmoud Ahmadknejad, Keith Richards, George Steinbrunner, Sparky Anderson, Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor, Cloris Leachman, Delores Hope, and Kirk Douglas.

Scott: John Glenn, Axl Rose, Betty Ford, Al Davis, John Goodman, Kelsey Grammar, Clint Eastwood, Ozzy Osborne, Pope Benedict XVI, and Nancy Reagan.

Tim: John Travolta, Betty White, Woody Allen, John McCain, Barry Bonds, Nancy Reagan, William Shatner, Chevy Chase, Dr. Phil McGraw, and Carrot Top.

As you will notice, I submitted an entry myself – trying to save myself the cost of one of the prizes! I used the same names that I selected last year, and replaced Eartha Kitt (the one who actually did die) with Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

Good luck – and let me know if you see any of the folks listed above in the obituaries!

How to Build a Better Query

Genealogy and writing are two of my passions. In the late 1980’s and early 1990’s those interests cross-pollinated into a newspaper column that was in publication in a number of small Missouri newspapers for over four years. During that time I also wrote articles for several national genealogical publications.

One afternoon in the summer of 1990 as I was digging through several letters that would be woven into my newspaper column, I had an epiphany. My sudden idea was that things would be so much simpler for genealogy columnists if our audiences knew a few basics of how to format a genealogical query. I began to compose an article on that subject and found that it literally wrote itself. I sent the article to a new publication that I admired called Southern Queries, and offered to let them use it free in exchange for a subscription to their magazine. They took me up on that offer. A few months later Genealogical Helper, a national magazine with a circulation of over 60,000, picked up that article and even sent me a nice check! Over the years I have found it reprinted in the oddest places, most recently in a publication put out by the Prince Edward Island (Canada) Genealogical Society.

That article, How to Build a Better Query, follows. I have taken one liberty with the original, and that was to add the surname of Elizabeth Taylor’s most recent husband.

How to Build a Better Query
by Rocky G. Macy

Genealogists are such exacting people, tackling research and documentation with a degree of precision that would shame a watchmaker. All sources are carefully sifted and every shard of evidence must be painstakingly analyzed and evaluated before being incorporated in the family history.

With all of the emphasis of correct procedure and absolute results, why is it that many of these same people often let their guard down when it comes to that old research staple –query writing?

As a genealogy columnist, I’ve seen many things that purport to be queries. Questions about ancestors have come on Christmas cards, postcards, and motel stationery. They have arrived with too much or too little information, minus a return address, and scrawled by a shaky hand using a leaky pen. People have sent stamps, money, recipes, and pictures of their kids – when all I really wanted were their clear and concise queries!

In an effort to thwart this flow of gobbledygook and preserve the sweet dispositions of genealogy editors, columnists, and other talented typists, the following guidelines for good queries are humbly offered:

1. Study the target publication. Employ its query style and format as much as possible. If the publication has its own query guidelines, use them – and disregard the excellent advice offered in the remainder of this article!

2. Type or print carefully. It will be an ordinary human being reading what you have written – not a pharmacist! The query must be legible.

3. Keep it brief. Stick to the basics, or as Sgt. Joe Friday would say, “Just the facts, Ma’am.” Avoid extraneous material that might confuse the reader.

4. Limit the use of pronouns. Too much reliance on these little demons can leave the reader asking “He who?”, “She who?”, “It what?” or “Huh?”

5. Upper case all surnames. That makes it easier to sort through the likes of Bob DYLAN, Dylan THOMAS, Thomas JEFFERSON, Jefferson DAVIS, and Elizabeth TAYLOR HILTON WILDING TODD FISHER BURTON BURTON WARNER FORTENSKY. (Those interested in shaking Bob DYLAN’s family tree will need to note that his surname is actually ZIMMERMAN.)

6. Avoid abbreviations. “Felix JOHNSON md Ramona SMITH might possibly refer to a capital crime instead of a marriage. Unless the specific abbreviations that a publication uses are known, spell the words out – and let the editors edit.

7. Target the readership area. This is particularly important when writing to localized publications. If the query involves folks from Peoria, send it toward Peoria – not Hoboken!

8. Check for historical accuracy. A query that has Grampa fighting with Stonewall Jackson at Yorktown will stand a good chance of landing in the circular file.

9. Safeguard privacy. Some people would resent seeing their name or personal history in print. Do not name living individuals in your query.

10. Double-check the basics. Is the query complete? If appropriate, has an SASE (self-addressed, stamped envelope) been enclosed? How about a phone number? Paying attention to details will ultimately speed the entire process and increase the odds of receiving helpful replies.

When the sky does begin to rain responses, remember to let the appropriate editors and columnists know. Your success is their success. It tells them that people are carefully reading their work – and that, Gentle Reader, is almost as good as a paycheck!

A Tale of Two Movies

Two notable movies were being shown at the same time in Springfield, MO, in the fall of 1966. Mike Nichols’ directorial debut, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, was playing at the Gillioz Theatre, while the Swedish art film, Dear John, was being featured at the Tower Theatre. Both of these movies raised eyebrows due to their explicit content, yet one created a community firestorm and the other played out its engagement with hardly any public comment at all.

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? portrayed an older couple (Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor) who were hosting a younger couple (George Segal and Sandy Dennis) for drinks and conversation. The drinks were plentiful, and the conversation, especially between Burton and Taylor, contained some of the strongest and most obscene language ever presented on an American movie screen up until that time. (Elizabeth Taylor and Sandy Dennis went on to win Oscars for their roles in the movie.)

Dear John was about a sailor and his brief affair with a local girl. Most of the film occurred in bed, and the nudity was gratuitous and ubiquitous. There was, however, no bad language in the movie.

So, given the choice between raunchy language or complete, rollicking nudity, which raised the hackles of conservative Springfieldians?

Surprisingly, at least to me, the community railed against Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and said nary a thing about Dear John. Springfield is home to several religiously oriented colleges, including one that graduated Jerry Falwell and another that was headed by John Ashcroft’s father for many years. Those schools and some local churches managed to get a picket line going outside of the Gillioz Theatre that stayed active the entire time that the film was playing. The picket line had a real impact on the theatre, drawing free attention to the film that brought the crowds scurrying in to buy tickets and see what all of the hullabaloo was about.

When that was happening I had just started working at the Tower. My boss, “Mac” MacDonald was furious at all of the attention that the protesters were garnering for the Gillioz, and he angrily claimed that their manager had struck a deal with some of the local religious leaders. But regardless of how much he fumed and flared, Mac was not able to get anyone fired up about Dear John. “It just wasn’t fair.” I remember him lamenting, “It just wasn’t fair at all.”

(For those who have ever pondered the question of when American cinema came of age, I heartily recommend the first two films that Mike Nichols directed: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and The Graduate. Their power, clarity, and relevance haven’t faded in the ensuing forty years.)