A Walking Chemistry Experiment

 

by Pa Rock

Insurance Victim

This afternoon I will be heading into town for my annual appointment with a very nice lady who works for the Area Agency on Aging.    She holds court at our local Senior Center and visits individually with anyone who needs help making a decision on which insurance company to use for the upcoming year's Medicare Part D program.    Part D is an inadequate insurance supplement program for Medicare recipients - one that is paid for by enrollees out-of-pocket and only covers a portion of what most seniors will need.

We all know how insurance works - or at least YOU will by the time you are MY age, which is old, damn old.  Every company has a different policy with different coverages - and, just to keep us on our toes, each year the various companies change what they will and will not cover.  You might have the perfect coverage for your medications list one year, and the next year three or four will have been dropped from the list that your insurance company covers and suddenly your drug costs are sky high - and you're paying increased premiums to boot.

The lady who will be helping me with Part D selection today is an old pro at the process.  I present her with my photo ID (driver's license), current insurance cards, and medications list, and she inputs it all into a program on her laptop and tells me which company will be my best option for the upcoming year.  If I agree (and why wouldn't I?) she fills out the paperwork, has me sign, and I go home and wait for my new insurance cards to arrive.  Easy, peasy.  I've had different companies the past three years, and probably will have a new one for next year, too.

I am currently taking nine different oral medications, prescription eye drops, three different injectable insulins, and a vitamin that was "recommended" by one of my legion of doctors.   One of the pills has to be taken first thing in the morning, with at least two long drinks of water - and not in close proximity to any other medication, another has to be taken twice a day, as close to 6:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. as possible, one has to be taken with food, one has to be taken late in the evening, and one has to be taken in pairs. three times a day at mealtimes.  One of my insulins is three times a day, another is once a day, and the third is once a week.

Add to that the fact that Rosie has her own meds regimen which I also have to manage:  One -half of one pill twice a day, one-half of another pill once a day, and one pill three times a day - and she recently finished one that he was taking once every other day.  I have to stuff Rosie's pills inside of a glob of braunschweiger or peanut butter in order fool her into taking them.  (I would like mine stirred into a glob of Russian caviar and served on a Ritz cracker, please.)

If I suddenly start barking and scratching at the door to get out, check Rosie's meds first - especially if there is braunschweiger on my breath!

I feel like a walking chemistry experiment - and I suspect Rosie does, too.  I asked my doctor how he could possibly know the effects that the interactions of these various meds were having on my tired old body, and he replied, "Rock, I've got a computer program for that."

Of course, he does.   

Modern medicine is a wonderful thing - for those of us who can afford it.