Criminals with Exceptional Taste

 

by Pa Rock

Chocolate Aficionado

Instead of losing their collective corporate mind over a brazen act of criminality that targeted their  business, officials at the Swiss-based Nestle Corporation decided to take their response in another direction after thieves stole one of their company trucks that was distributing apecial, limited edition KitKat candy bars along a route from their factory in Italy to markets in Poland.   The 413,793 individual bars taken in the heist, or  over 12 tons of chocolaty goodness, were shaped to look like Formula 1 racing cars.   The first response from the Nestle Corporation was not a call to send the thieves to someplace sinister for a trial an imprisonment, Devil's Island, perhaps, but instead the chocolate giant issued a statement that, in part, complimented the criminals on their "exceptional taste."

That's right.  Rather than frothing at the mouth like some deranged Trump cabinet undersecretary raging about his assigned parking spot, the Nestle Corporation met the situation with good humor, and, in so doing, brightened their corporate image - just in time for Easter's big candy sales!

While the chocolate heist was audacious, it was not unprecedented.  In July of 2023 a British man named Joby Pool was sentenced to 18 months in jail for stealing 200,000 chocolate Cadbury Eggs from an industrial unit and a truck to transport them.  Cadbury Eggs are said the have a "cult following" in the United Kingdom.  Pa Rock would be interested in joining.

Nestle did put out a statement about last week's truck heist and theft of the KitKat bars saying "there is no concern for public safety," but that would depend on how many a person ate in a single sitting.  As of today, the case of the stolen Kitkats remains unsolved.  It is likely the criminals are holed-up somewhere along with their bounty waiting on the situation to cool - or perhaps they are immobilized in a diabetic comas.