Pests

 

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

The cicadas are already climbing out of the ground in the Midwest and making themselves known by their horrendous noise as they seek partners for purposes of procreation.  This year there are more cicadas and more noise than usual as two major broods, those that emerge every thirteen years and those that emerge every seventeen years, are all appearing at the same time - the first time that has happened since 1803.  As soon as all of the jar flies are sexually sated, the females will burrow back into the ground and lay eggs - and, in my area - a new generation will dig their way out of the ground thirteen years later in 2037.

Our big dog, Gypsy, has developed a taste for cicadas, which she considers a crunchy treat.  She spends most evenings frolicking outdoors capturing the noisy insects in her scoop-shovel mouth, and then munching contentedly until long after dark.  It's a dog's life!

But the cicadas aren't the only pests that will be invading the Midwest this year.  The national Republican Party will be convening in Milwaukee in mid-July and the Democrats will unpack their show in Chicago in August.

In addition to the Republicans coronating King Donald the Flatulent for the third convention in a row, the party will also be shining the bright lights of adoration on many Trump family members.  Donald will be there, of course, bloviating about migrant "animals," Crooked Joe, corrupt judges, and anyone else who fails to heap near constant adoration upon him.  Melania, Donald's wife and the former First Lady, should also be in town, and, depending on the local shopping scene, may appear at the convention as well.  

Laua Trump, Donald's daughter-in-law and the person whom Donald ordered to be named as the co-chair of the Republican Party, will be at the convention in Milwaukee, ostensibly to help run things, and certainly to do whatever is necessary to keep the focus on the glory of her father-in-law.

Yesterday the Florida Republican Party announced that Barron Trump, Donald and Melania's kid who is eighteen-years-old and about to graduate from high school in West Palm Beach, will be an at-large delegate from Florida to the Republican National Convention.  Other members of the Florida delegation will include Eric Trump (Lara's husband and Donald's son by Ivana), Donald Trump, Jr. (also the spawn of Donald and Ivana), Kimberly Guilfoyle (Don Jr's fiancee), Tiffany Trump Boulos (Donald's daughter by Marla Maples), and Michael Boulos (Tiffany's husband).

The cicadas will probably wind up being less annoying and easier to deal with than the Republican delegation from Florida!