John Boehner's Balls

by Pa Rock
Non-Essential Government Employee


Several news reports over the past couple of days have bluntly stated that some members of our U.S. House of Representatives have been stumbling around drunk on the floor of that august chamber.  So much for clear-headed and thoughtful governance.  It's past time that we sent these annoying adolescents and angry anarchists home where they could try working for a living.

Things might be different - if they had a leader.


John Boehner's Balls
by Pa Rock

The Speaker banged his gavel loud
And fought to hold back tears.

"Damn, I am" cried he,
"Late for a date with a tee,
And I cannot find my balls.

"I cannot find them in the House,
Nor with Eric, my sneaky mouse.

"They are not in my tissue box,
Nor in the drawer with my garters and socks.

"They are not in my closet deep,
Nor in the back room where I sleep.

"They are not in my tanning bed,
Nor on the shelves above my head
       (with the twelve-year-old scotch).

"Some gohmert must have hidden them,
So golf I cannot play,

"But if to the gohmerts I do kneel
and kiss their pious butts - 
Soon I may be back on the links
Making pretty puts.

"Oh where, oh where have my little balls gone,
Oh where, oh where can they be?"