The Texas State Mammal

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

The mammal most closely associated with the Lone Star state a century ago was the Long Horn steer, a rangy creature that was driven north in great herds to railheads and then shipped back east to feed the masses. Later, as beef cattle began to be produced in other locations, the ubiquitous armadillo took over as the mammal most identified with Texas. Today, the armadillo has migrated northward to every state south of the Missouri River, and lies decomposing along most of the nation's highways and byways. It is no longer unique to Texas.

But not to worry, Texas has a new state mammal: the braying jackass. I came across a prime example of the Texas specialty this afternoon at the Dallas-Ft. Worth Airport. This particular jackass had ordered a sandwich at one of the airport eateries, consumed most of it, and then got indignant because he was a diabetic and suspected that the food contained sugar. The first time I walked by the restaurant he was raging on the server: "I'm diabetic. If that's got sugar in it, and I think it does, you're going to damn well know it in a couple of minutes!" I came back by a minute or two later to see if he had collapsed into a diabetic coma, but he was still on his rant. He had a manager corralled who was not buying into his act - the guy apparently wanted a refund. The manager was assuring the guy that his sandwich contained no sugar. The diabetic (or con-artist) was demanding to know the manager's name - and the spelling.

There are some battles that are just not worth fighting. I felt like the restaurant manager wasted a lot of unnecessary energy engaging with this man. The scene cost them more business than the price of a lousy sandwich. I, for one, walked on down to a less combative section of the terminal for my burger.

One day the braying jackass will go the way of the Long Horn and the armadillo, but in Texas that may take awhile!