Numb3rs and Paying Taxes

 

by Pa Rock

Number Muncher

I believe the old adage that says the lottery was designed as a tax on the mathematically challenged.  I watch the people in front of me at the quick stop (America's new casinos) buying scratch-off tickets by the fistful and then rushing back to the counter to reinvest any winnings.  They quit when their money runs out.  There are seldom any real winners.

The last time I bought a scratch-off ticket was about four years ago.  I had two one-dollar bills in my pocket and thought "Why the hell not?"  The ticket won $22, and I rushed back in the store, cashed it, and went home.  (When I took my winnings and left, the store clerk looked at me as though I was robbing the place - and, in essence I was.  The lottery doesn't like people like me as far as scratchc-off tickets are concerned.

I do still spend $2.00 a day buying a Missouri Lotto ticket and a Show Me Cash ticket, and seldom win at those.  The Missouri Lotto ticket has two lines of numbers (two chances to win) that run from 1-44, and six numbers are drawn two times a week. I have hit four of six several times for wins usually around $30, and one time four or five years ago I hit five of six and took home over $600.   But overall, I know my losses exceed my winnings - considerably.

Real math aside, I have some superstitious hang-ups regarding numbers, and over the last few weeks there have been three instances in which I felt that numbers were signaling me that something big was was about to happen.

I occasionally "run to the store" for bread and milk and wind up leaving with much more that I had intended to buy.  That happened a couple of weeks ago, and as the nice lady who was ringing up my groceries and hit the "total" button, the bill was $66.66.  I was extra cautious on the drive home, you betcha I was!  And then a few days after that I bought a Missouri Lotto ticket - which I do once a day - and one line of numbers (from 1 to 44) was all primes.  There are only fourteen prime numbers in a string from 1-44, and I thought for all six numbers on one line to be primes was significant.  The ticket proved to be a loser, so if there was a psychic message associated with that line of numbers, it went right over my head.

Then this morning I was in a Casey's convenience store in Mission, Kansas - just after daylight - getting breakfast for Rosie and I before heading back to southern Missouri - and the three items I bought - a sausage and egg biscuit, a doughnut, and a large iced tea - rang up to $7.77.  A sign if ever there was one!  So I bought a Kansas Super Cash and a Lotto America - one dollar each - before leaving.

The other numbers game that I play is Powerball, but only when the prize is obscenely high.  I bought three on the current run, the one that was won last night.  The first was one Missouri ticket when the grand prize was only $1.3 billion, and it was a dud.   Then for last night's biggie - $1.8 billion - I bought two, one in Missouri and one in Kansas.  There were two grand prize winners last night, one in Texas and one in Missouri.  I haven't checked my tickets yet - they ae in the car.  Perhaps later.

I can't imagine the amount of hell that winning several hundred million dollars would unleash, so why did I buy those tickets to begin with?

I was just paying my tax for being mathematically challenged!