Cold AF

 

by Pa Rock

Popsicle Man

The Polar Vortex began arriving in the Ozarks on Tuesday with plunging temperatures and light snow.  The snow was accumulating by late afternoon.   Yesterday the ground was covered in the frigid white stuff, roughly six-to-eight inches at my place, and temperatures were in the single digits.  Nothing melted, of course, and the birds at my feeders were in a feeding frenzy the entire day.  All of the bird feeders were empty by late afternoon.

This morning, well before daylight, Alexa whispered in my ear as I was waking that it was minus four degrees outside,  I groaned and went back to sleep.  The next time I opened my eyes daylight was streaming through the bedroom window and Alexa said the temperature had soared to minus two.

"We're having a heat wave, a tropical heat wave!"

After pulling on as many layers of clothing as would fit over my flabby old body, I grabbed Rosie and headed out onto the front porch and tried to get her to do her business.  But poor little Rosie, who was wearing only one layer and no shoes, immediately stood in front of the door demanding re-entry while I began walking through the snow to fill the damned bird feeders!  I quickly relented and let Rosie back in the house while I continued to trudge through the snow like Sergeant Preston of the Yukon.

I saw Good Neighbor Rex driving his very nice farm tractor (blade attached) past my house at noon yesterday, and two hours later he pulled into my drive and cleared it with a couple of quick swipes.   When he left he was headed in the direction of his home after being out in the ferocious cold for over two hours clearing neighborhood drives.  I will be taking something nice to Rex and his Missus just as soon as I can build up the stamina and energy to get in my cold car and drive to town to shop.  

Rex is almost two years older than me.  

The first time I met Rex he was bush-hogging a strip of roadway adjacent to my land that county should have been maintaining,  (I learned later that he does quite a bit of the county's work on a volunteer basis.)  He had cleared some of mine while he was at it, so I paid him for his work, we became friends, and now he bush-hogs for me twice a year.  We have a system:  he under-charges so I overpay him, and we get along just fine.  I live in constant fear that Rex will pass on before me and I will have to buy my own tractor and learn how to operate it.  Rex is the best neighbor in the world, and I am just one of many who feel that way!

Gypsy just went outside to do her business.   She loves the snow but hates the intense cold, so our big girl came right back to the house when she finished.  On nice days I have to take her out on a leash because if she is loose she likes to gallop around the neighborhood barking the tune to "Born Free."

The bird feeders are literally black as they are covered with a big flock of what I believe to be red-wing blackbirds.  (The photos which I have seen on the internet show red-wing blackbirds with sploches of red and yellow on the outside of thier wings, but these aren't all sploched, and those that do have a spot of red have it on their bodies beneath their wings.  They eat the bird feed with a vengeance and keep the more colorful winter birds - read: cardinals - away from the feeders.  (What am I dealing with here, Ranger Bob?)

The black birds are thick, the traffic is light, the snow is ubiquitous, and the air is cold as . . . well, never mind.   My son is at work, the dogs and I are in the house trying to stay warm, and I hope that everyone caught in this Arctic mess are playing it smart and staying warm and safe - and Rex, that means you, too!